Home Love & Relationships 8 Reasons Why It’s Difficult For Deep Thinkers To Fall In Love

8 Reasons Why It’s Difficult For Deep Thinkers To Fall In Love


Having met many deep thinkers myself, I can tell you that these people are unique. They have the ability to delve into the very essence of things and they have a profound awareness of everything that surrounds them. However, there’s one disadvantage to being a deep thinker – they have a hard time falling in love.

If you happen to be a deep thinker, you know how challenging it is for you to let someone into your heart. The thing is, deep thinkers tend to over-analyze everything, including their feelings. This makes it difficult for them to enjoy when they develop feelings for someone without understanding some deep meaning behind it.

They have high standards which prevent them from entering a relationship with someone unless they’re completely sure they possess everything they expect their partner to have. Additionally, it’s hard for them to fall in love because they know this places them in a vulnerable position, an idea they doesn’t like at all.

These are just some of the reasons why deep thinkers have the most difficult time falling in love, and in what follows this is explained in more details:

1. They intellectualize their feelings.

Since they tend to over-analyze everything, including their feelings, it’s hard for them to enjoy when they develop feelings for someone without understanding a deep meaning behind it. It’s more natural to them to rationalize their feelings than to follow their hearts.

2. They have very high standards.

A deep thinker won’t settle until they find someone who will intellectually and emotionally challenge them, get along with them, inspire them to grow personally and professionally, and complement them in significant ways.

It won’t be a problem for a deep thinker to wait long before they find someone whom they can really invest themselves in.

3. They fall for who a person is rather than how they make them feel.

Deep thinkers are more interested in a person’s character and behavior as opposed to how they make them feel. They fall in love with someone because they share similar interests, beliefs, goals, and future plans with them, not just because they feel excitement or passion when that person is around.

4. They may not look so, but they’re very sensitive.

Romantic feelings, dating, committing to someone – all this makes them feel quite uncomfortable.  Moreover, they fear how much they feel and they fear love, too, as much as they long for it.

That’s why they over-analyze and evaluate a person’s personality traits and behavior, and intellectualize their feelings before they accept what they feel for the other person and decide to commit to them.

5. They know that love alone can never sustain relationships.

Deep thinkers know that it takes more than love to build a healthy, meaningful, and successful relationship. They recognize that respect, compatibility, sacrifice, loyalty, trust, and commitment are equally important as love and chemistry.

This makes them often over-analyze the personality traits and behaviors of others.

6. They fall in love with ideas.

They’re deep thinkers, so it’s no wonder it’s all about ideas with them. They’re preoccupied with things that look appealing and make sense. They easily fall in love with the idea of love, or the idea of someone, not the person.

However, they can often struggle with the reality of it – the reality that can be confusing, illogical, or not that appealing.

7. They try to shield themselves from potential pain by detecting ways potential partners aren’t good enough for them.

They have seen how love has failed many people and to protect themselves from going through heartbreak, they try to limit the number of potential partners by eliminating those, who in their opinion, are not good enough for them.

They’ll over-analyze a person’s character and behavior in search of flaws which will help them identify every single way they can fail them in a relationship. And oftentimes, they do this unfairly because nobody is perfect and we all fail at some point.

8. They use relationships as a healing mechanism.

Not only are deep thinkers well aware of their vulnerabilities, but they also focus a lot and analyze their wounds and voids. That’s the reason why in a lot of cases, they attract partners to  heal their wounds and fill their voids more rather than to complement them as individuals.

Being compatible with their partner is always more important to them than what feelings the other person evokes in them.

Are you a deep thinker? Feel free to share with us in the comment section below.

Riley Cooper