Unfortunately, many people today choose to stay in bad, toxic relationships because they’re afraid of being lonely and criticized by others. But, the truth is, being single is neither scary nor something you should be ashamed of, and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re lonely.
And I know this the best. Being single used to be such a terrifying thought to me. But after dating a couple of guys who made me feel horrible about myself, I realized that it’s not being alone that’s scary, but being in a crappy relationship.
I know what it’s like to get hurt, and the last thing I want to do is put myself in that situation again.
Singlehood has helped me learn new things about myself and provided me with possibilities I never knew existed. It’s given me new perspectives on life and enabled me to explore the inner depths of my soul and to devote myself to self-love and self-growth.
Yet, I don’t want to get misunderstood. I’m not saying that love is worthless or that relationships are a waste of time, but that simply now it might not be the right time yet.
As for me, I can proudly say I’m not afraid of being single, I’m afraid of being with a guy who doesn’t give a damn about me.
1. I’m not afraid of being by myself, I’m afraid of being with someone who doesn’t let me be myself.
I’m not afraid of enjoying my company. I’m afraid of being with a guy who doesn’t accept and cherish me for who I truly am. A guy who can’t accept my flaws and constantly tries to mold me into something he needs.
A guy who criticizes every step I make. A guy who makes me feel like nothing I do is ever good enough.
A guy who doesn’t let me do the things I enjoy doing and who disrespects my boundaries and limits my freedom. A guy who doesn’t let me be that straightforward, clumsy, funny, and sarcastic girl I am.
2. I’m not afraid of spending time alone, I’m afraid of spending my time in bad company.
I’m not afraid of eating dinner at my favorite restaurant alone, or going to the cinema on my own, or going shopping for clothes by myself because I feel comfortable in my own skin and enjoy being on my own.
But, I’m afraid of doing all this with someone who doesn’t appreciate spending time with me. Someone who sees spending time with me as just one more obligation he has to fulfill. Someone with whom I share nothing in common.
3. I’m not afraid of sleeping alone, I’m afraid of waking up next to a stranger.
I don’t mind going to bed and waking up alone, at least now, but I fear I’ll wake up one day and I won’t recognize the person by my side whom I thought I knew so well. I fear he won’t be that charming, loving, kind, tender, and compassionate guy I fell in love with.
I fear to wake up next to a guy who has stopped loving and caring about me and to whom I no longer mean anything.
4. I’m not afraid of making mistakes, I’m afraid of being with the wrong guy.
Mistakes are a part of life, and oftentimes, they’re the most valuable lessons life can teach us. And I’m not afraid of my mistakes because they teach me what things I should or shouldn’t do to feel good about myself. The only mistake I’m scared of is being with the wrong guy.
The guy I’ll have to beg for his attention and love. The guy who will fool me with sweet words and promises. The guy who will have mixed feelings for me and who will wonder whether I’m worth settling down with.
5. I’m not afraid of making love, I’m afraid of making love without feeling I’m loved.
I don’t want to be with a guy who focuses more on physical than on emotional. A guy who is good in bed, but lacks genuine emotions, and who only cares about satisfying his needs. A guy who sees me more like an object than a person who has needs and desires.
I don’t want to give my body to a guy who doesn’t deserve anything I have to offer. A guy whom I’ll make love to, but I won’t feel his warmth and love for me. A guy who’s only interested in physically connecting with me, but never emotionally and mentally.
6. I’m not afraid of conversations, I’m afraid of talking with a guy who doesn’t understand me.
I’m afraid of being with a guy who is only physically present when I’m talking to him, but who never listens carefully to what I have to tell him. A guy with whom I’ll have small, boring talks because we have nothing to share with each other.
A guy who criticizes and doesn’t respect my ideas, opinions, and attitudes, and who tries to convince me that he’s the one who always knows what’s true and what’s wrong.
I’m afraid of being with a guy who can’t make meaningful and interesting conversations.
7. I’m not afraid of crying, I’m afraid of getting hurt.
Tears don’t make me less of a woman – I don’t fear them. But, I’m afraid of being with a guy who won’t care to hurt my feelings and break my heart. A guy who will have the heart to lie to and cheat on me. A guy who won’t be ashamed to make a pile of false promises and excuses when he messes things up.
I fear to be with a guy who won’t care about how I feel and who won’t treat me with the same amount of love, respect, and compassion I’ll treat him.
8. I’m not afraid of being single, I’m afraid of being with a guy who doesn’t give a damn about me.
I’ve learned to enjoy my own company, but I fear to fully devote myself to a guy who doesn’t deserve even the smallest piece of me. A guy who only treats me as his option and never a priority. A guy who treats me with love and kindness only when he wants to get something from me or when he needs me to boost his ego.
I fear to be with a guy who doesn’t make me feel loved, protected, and emotionally fulfilled. A guy who won’t be able to hear the unsaid thoughts, feel the emotions spoken without words, and reach to the deepest parts of my soul. A guy who won’t be brave enough to love and be proud of me and my achievements, and who won’t inspire me to become a better version of myself.