Marriage is a sacred bond that has to be respected and nurtured. Unfortunately, many couples often take it lightly. They don’t fully invest themselves in the marriage and they become irresponsible and distant. As a result, all the love, peace, harmony, and eventually the marriage are destroyed.
No matter how much married couples love each other, sometimes they make mistakes that hurt their partner. What many couples fail to realize is that marriage is not only about love. A healthy and successful marriage requires respect, understanding, compromise, and compassion. It requires forgiveness, patience, and emotional intimacy.
A true marriage is about choosing that one person you’ll spend the rest of your life with and knowing that you can bear all your burdens with them.
Just as romantic relationships, the first phases of marriage are all about passion, excitement, and fun. Yet, as time progresses, couples have more and more responsibilities to take care of. Kids, paying bills, and problems both at work and home are just a few of the many things that all couples have to deal with.
Yet, if they don’t know how to properly handle them or if they sweep all their problems under the carpet, they slowly and unconsciously kill the love, thereby causing the marriage to fall apart.
So, if you’re married and want to ensure your marriage lasts forever, then make sure you don’t do the following 8 mistakes that cause any marriage to fall apart.
1. Making your partner feel insecure.
As time passes, couples get comfortable with each other. Yet, there are some who get so comfortable that they forget that their actions may cause their partner feel insecure. So, unless you want to ruin your marriage, make sure you don’t become one of them.
Looking at other men or women out of fun, mentioning how hot they are, and other stuff like that can make your partner lose their trust in you and even think you’re unfaithful to them.
Okay, I know it’s impossible to pretend you don’t notice when a really handsome guy or attractive woman walks past you, but this shouldn’t come at the cost of your partner’s discomfort.
Both partners need reassurance that they’re loyal to each other. And I believe that every woman, men too, want to know that their partner still finds them beautiful and irresistible like at the beginning of their relationship.
2. Ignoring the importance of small gestures.
Again, some couples get so comfortable with each other that they forget about those small gestures of love that can help a lot to keep the romance alive. Buying your partner their favorite book or perfume or that shirt they’ve been planning to buy for a while can really make them feel loved and appreciated.
But, these small tokens of love don’t always require spending money. Even a cute love note stuck on the fridge or a nice breakfast-in-bed surprise can mean a lot to your beloved.
Being married doesn’t mean that you or your partner should forget about all those romantic gestures and surprises. So, make sure you often do something to surprise and make them feel special, and don’t you ever forget their birthday – maybe you’re rolling your eyes now, but this is something that happens a lot, and trust me – it hurts to the core.
3. Closing your partner out of your problems.
Married couples are supposed to share with each other all their fears, insecurities, and problems. When one of the partners is having a rough time or feels worried, sad, or angry they should open up to the other person.
Your partner knows when something troubles you-you can’t conceal such things from them. When they ask you what the problem is and if you ignore them every time, they’ll feel neglected and they can even think that they’re the problem.
You need to remember that keeping your problems, bitterness, or anger only to yourself will not only make your partner feel like you don’t consider them worthy enough to know about and help you with the problem, but it can also be extremely harmful to the marriage.
4. Not taking responsibility for your actions.
Whether it’s some bad habit, an addiction, or affair, many times, couples point to their partner as the reason for their weakness. “I’ve started drinking a lot lately because of her nagging. I cheated on him because he stopped taking care of me.” How immature and absurd, right?
Rather than blaming your partner, you need to take responsibility for your actions. You have to accept that you did something wrong because of you and not because of someone else. And if your partner really is the root of your problems, then tell them the truth. Be honest and save both of you from the torture.
5. Marrying someone you’re not compatible with.
A dominant, selfish, controlling, hypercritical man or woman will continue to be as such after you marry them. You can’t expect them to magically change their behavior or think that you can fix them in the marriage.
Marriage is a long-term commitment and as such it requires careful thinking when you choose your life companion. And remember: Choosing the wrong person can only mean one thing – failure.
6. Giving your partner the silent treatment.
When couples stop talking to each other, they become distant. Over time the distance grows and there comes a point when they feel like they’re strangers to each other. The less couples talk, the fewer topics they have to talk about.
Some couples refuse to share their problems with their partner because they think the other person won’t understand them. But, this is just an excuse so as to avoid facing the reality and dealing with the problem. Lack of communication and bottling up negative feelings is the recipe for failure.
7. Always trying to “fix” your partner.
When he/she comes to you to talk about their problems, it’s not your advice or answer they want. They just want you to listen to them, without telling them what they should do and what the best for them is.
You don’t always have to try to resolve and repair every issue. You can’t fix all problems and you can’t fix your partner. Instead, you should accept them as they are and allow them to make their own decisions.
8. Never apologizing.
All marriages have conflicts. And oftentimes, apologizing is the quickest way to resolve them. When conflicts are solved, the bond between the partners is strengthened and the love becomes stronger.
Apologizing isn’t a sign of weakness, lack of pride, or weak ego. Instead, it shows that you’re willing to make things work and do whatever it takes to preserve the marriage.