There are certain situations in a relationship when you have to be compatible with your partner. That list includes sharing the same goals, an approach to having children, or agreeing on political and worldview matters.
However, certain red flags only look like ones. Keep in mind that being in a relationship is a complicated matter. And no matter how hard you try, you won’t always see eye to eye.
Unfortunately, we tend to exaggerate and confuse minor oddities with toxic behaviors. And yes, sometimes they might be warning signs, but that’s not always the case. Why do we think that way, though?
The answer is simple. It’s because we’re afraid of losing another person. Living on pins and needles, however, is not the best way to carry on a relationship. That’s why it’s crucial to understand which red flags are deal-breakers and which ones are nothing unnatural.
We’ve prepared a list of seven red flags you can ignore to help you with that.
Although it’s widely considered that sexual incompatibility shouldn’t occur in a healthy relationship, it’s not always true. Finding your common ground in bed takes time, and you shouldn’t feel discouraged when something isn’t working at the beginning.
After all, we’re all different. We have our own blockades and needs that impact our sex life. Maybe you have different turn-ons and kinks? It is enough to walk into a sex toy store to notice that there’s a wide variety of fetishes. And chances are yours are different from your partner’s.
Does that mean that you should break up? Of course not. At least, not before you have an honest conversation.
Talk about your differences and embrace them. If you can’t accept them, tell your partner how you feel and ask if they can live without them. Only with trust and communication, you’ll be able to find how to make love fulfilling.
But getting to the point. No, sexual incompatibility isn’t the end of the world. You just need to be patient and put some effort into finding your way, even if it might force you to take a step back to make two forward.
Guess what. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to do everything together. In fact, if you do, it’s not a good sign at all. Having different interests is a crucial part of a healthy relationship and not a warning sign.
Unfortunately, many couples believe that. We all know couples who even go to the toilet together, and let’s be honest – calling it a healthy behavior is the last thing that would come to our minds.
Sure, it’s fun to share interests. It gives you more opportunities to spend fun time together and generally brings you closer. Still, it’s good to have something that is truly yours. It takes your mind off things and allows you to maintain your personality.
With that in mind, you should embrace your differences. Support each other and never, for any reason impose your interests on your partner.
Dating Is Not Their Priority
When you find a new partner, it’s expected that you want to spend as much time with the other person as possible. However, it may be the case that your partner has other priorities in their life. It might look like a red flag for many people, but they couldn’t be more wrong.
It shows that your partner has a healthy attitude. Read it as a sign that they choose to be with you and don’t desperately need to spend every minute of their life in a relationship. Keep in mind that there’s a line between independence and obsession.
Similar to different interests, having separate lives outside a relationship is a good sign. It shows that you will be a long-lasting and well-balanced couple – not one of those relationships that end before they even start.
Different Religion and Cultural Background
You’ve probably heard that if you and your partner don’t share the same religion, you won’t make it. To be fair, it’s hard to determine whether it’s a red flag, as it all depends on the importance of religion in your life. Still, we don’t think it’s one of the warning signs you should be afraid of.
Many couples don’t share the same religious beliefs, and yet they still live happy lives. Because let’s face the truth, as long as you love and respect each other, religion shouldn’t stand in your way to happiness.
The same goes for different cultural backgrounds. Sure, it might come with some confusion initially, but with time, you’ll be able to find common ground and learn to respect your differences.
They Have Many Friends of the Opposite Sex
Some people say that there’s no such thing as platonic love between people of the opposite sexes and the same sexual orientation. What a bunch of nonsense that is.
If your partner has friends of the opposite sex, it doesn’t mean they have them to cheat on you. Unfortunately, jealousy often gets the better of us and our imagination, turning an utterly healthy friendship into an affair.
But unless you find out your partner is meeting with their friends for suspicious dates, there’s absolutely nothing to worry about. Moreover, it can cement your relationship even more firmly, as you show each other trust and respect.
Friends can also give you a broader perspective of your partner, allowing you to see how they behave outside the relationship. They might even come to you with a useful piece of advice on how to solve various problems.
They Still Have Contact with Their Ex
We know what you think. If your partner still has contact with their ex, it needs to be the red flag you can’t ignore. Well, not necessarily. Of course, knowing that your partner still hangs out with their previous love interest is a hard pill to swallow.
But similarly to the previous point, it doesn’t have to be something you should worry about. Once again, it’s your jealousy that’s playing games with you, making your brain imagine your partner in a romantic relationship with their ex.
Don’t get us wrong. Feeling threatened by a partner’s ex is entirely natural, but it’s good to look at the matter differently. Maybe they were friends even before they started dating?
They can also share so many mutual memories and respect that they value each other’s opinions and advice. It’s best to look at different factors and talk openly with your partner about the matter before jumping to conclusions.
They Don’t Say “I Love You”
We’ve all been there. You immediately fall in love with another person and expect them to do the same. Unfortunately, for some reason you can’t get that longed-for three-word sentence out of them. Is it the cause to worry? Not really.
Keep in mind that love is a strange feeling, and some people experience it differently than others. If your partner doesn’t tell you that they love you, it doesn’t mean they don’t. Maybe it’s not their style to show affection like that.
Or maybe, they’re not ready to say that out loud just yet. After all, even though “I love you” is a simple sentence, it carries a lot of emotional weight. It’s a big statement and a sign of commitment.
That’s why you shouldn’t judge the other person because they don’t say that they love you too. Be patient and encouraging. You’ll hear these three words soon enough, don’t worry.
As you can see, not every so-called red flag means that your partner is wrong for you. Differences are part of every relationship, and you should embrace them instead of running to the conclusion that you’re not the perfect match.
Sure, there are deal-breakers, but it’s hard to generalize them as we all have various priorities, needs, and behaviors. But no matter your differences, it’s always crucial to understand each other and treat each other with respect and trust.
As long as you both do that, you can be sure that you’ll enjoy a long and happy relationship.