Home Stories 12 Definite Signs That Show You Are Demisexual

12 Definite Signs That Show You Are Demisexual


Demisexual is the cross between sexuality and asexuality. It brings a whole new dimension to how one perceives sex and sexual connection with others, and it’s something that is actually very beautiful.

A lot of experts describe demisexual as the state of sexuality that is manifested through a person’s reluctance to become sexually attracted to someone without first establishing a strong emotional connection. (1)

Can you find yourself in this definition? Here are some signs that show that you’re probably demisexual.

1. You don’t rush into relationships before establishing a solid friendship

You simply find it more important to see your partner, first and foremost, as a good friend. You believe that there should be a strong emotional bond and connection between two people before they become romantically involved.

2. You don’t necessarily get turned on by the idea of sex

Some people get turned on by the thought of having sex with someone they find attractive. Not you, though. You see it as a purely physical manifestation of something which is already existent – something greater and nobler. You find this physical bond as the result of a strong emotional bond, not the other way around.

3. You find it more enticing to sleep together with someone than to make love

You love the idea of establishing a physical warmth through cuddling and slow intimacy, and the idea of ‘sleeping together’ doesn’t necessarily involve sex. In fact, you’d rather really sleep with that person and cuddle.

4. The idea of one-night stands absolutely grosses you out

You can’t understand how people find pleasure in something which doesn’t involve any emotion, but only the physical act of satisfying some primary urges and leaving without looking back. It completely grosses you out.

5. You find it difficult to understand your friends when it comes to love and sex

Your unique and rare approach to relationships is one that doesn’t allow you to easily understand your friends in matters that concern the same. You don’t understand how they can be so easily caught up in lustful and purely physical interpretations of what is supposed to be so much more.

6. You don’t find sex as so much important

For you, the relationship is not about sex – sex is only the result which doesn’t have to occur often. The idea that some couples can’t imagine their relationship without exciting and active sex is totally foreign to you. You can go without sex in a relationship and it won’t be problematic for you.

7. Personality turns you on more than looks

People’s personalities are what makes them beautiful for you. It doesn’t matter if the other person has the face of an angel if they have the mind of a bug or a heart small as a peanut. If they don’t know how to establish an intelligent conversation and show emotion, they’re just not attractive to you whatsoever.

8. Liking someone for you is never a small thing

It’s so difficult for you to develop a romantic interest for someone, simply because you like to look deeper, and this is why it’s never a small thing once you do. You never take your feelings for granted as you know that they are inspired by great depths and a genuine connection.

9. You don’t shy away from commitment

If you’ve got to the point of being in a relationship, you’re ready to put in your maximum and give everything you have. You find commitment as something which is inherent in any strong relationship and you even see it as some sort of a privilege to be with a person you can fully commit to. (2)

10. Quality conversations give you a natural high

Intelligent conversations, the active connection you establish, the seamlessness of it all – this is what makes you feel absolutely amazing. It’s better than sex for you!

11. You don’t really like flirting

This is not your approach to relationships. You don’t go out searching for potential mates in bars or other places, and your relationships are a result of friendships that develop naturally.

12. ‘Adult movies’ are definitely not your thing

These things completely devoid of any emotional value and connection don’t turn you on in the least. You don’t really understand how two people can engage in a sexual relationship without first establishing some kind of emotional connection – well you do when it comes to these movies, but you get it.

Mary Wright