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11 Unique Traits Of Extroverted Introverts


Introversion and extroversion aren’t black and white. The thing is, these two personality characteristics are on a spectrum and people who fall closer to the extreme ends are either introverts or extroverts. Yet, there are some who lie in the middle and even flip-flop between the two ends. These are the extroverted introverts, and yes, that would be me.

People think I’m an extrovert, but I don’t feel like it at all. I can be the life and soul of the party, yet, I very often need to spend time by myself. I can talk for hours about all kinds of topics with my friends and go to parties and dance all night long, but I’d rather stay at home with a close friend or two than be with a bunch of acquaintances.

If you happen to be an outgoing introvert too, then you know what we’re talking about here. But if you’re not and you find all this confusing, here are 11 examples that will show you what being an extroverted introvert feels like.

1. We don’t talk a lot, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want to talk at all.

The thing is, we’re more interested in observing and listening to what you have to say than in showing what’s going on in our mind. We pay close attention to your words because we want to understand what you have to say and learn about you.

2. We prefer to hang out one on one more than in groups.

In this way, we can get to know you better and have a meaningful, thorough conversation about topics that interest us instead of talking about superficial, useless things with a group of people.

3. We don’t mind meeting new people, but we want to be ready for it.

We don’t mind meeting your other friends, but if we’re going to meet and hang out with them, we’d like to know that in advance. We want to prepare ourselves for the fact that we’re going to be in the company of other people and, most probably, do a lot of talking.

4. We like being around people, but that doesn’t mean we want to talk.

Hah, I know this one is a little bit confusing, but the thing is that oftentimes being around people is enough to make us feel happy and like we’re a part of the group. We don’t feel the need to participate in every discussion, and we’d rather listen to what you have to say. Oh, and I almost forgot – we don’t like making small talk or gossiping.

5. We do need our alone time, but oftentimes we get lonely.

Although we enjoy spending time by ourselves, we do get lonely. And when this happens, we always call and ask you to hang out. Balancing between spending time alone and not feeling lonely can be quite difficult.

6. We may not respond to text messages right away.

It’s not that we lack manners or hate you. The thing is, while we may not be the most outgoing people in the world, we still prefer hanging out in person to texting. This is especially so if we’ve been around people for a longer amount of time, and in those moments, texting can feel pretty exhausting.

7. We often make excuses not to go out, but in the end, we accept your invitation.

We usually rack our brains with thoughts such as: “What if the party is going to be just a waste of time?” or “I could be watching some good movie on Netflix.” Or “Why if they are inviting me just because they’re trying to be nice?” And that’s why you sometimes have to text us a couple of times in order to get us out of the house, but the good thing is that most of the time, you succeed in this.

8. We can be having a lot of fun, but our mind will be often drifting off.

Even when we’re talking or hanging out with you at a party, our mind is still racing, analyzing what’s going on around us, or thinking about the tasks we left unfinished at home.

9. We can be the life and soul of the party, but we don’t want to be praised for that.

We can be gregarious, outgoing, fun, and even outspoken, which is why people often mistake us for extroverts. But, we don’t want to be the center of attention and we certainly don’t think we should be praised for that or seen as leaders.

10. We get mad at ourselves for not hanging out with you more often.

When you call us on Friday to make plans for the weekend, we tell you that we don’t feel like doing anything and that we’d rather stay at home than go out. And then, we get mad at ourselves for telling you that because we think we let you down.

So, many times, we force ourselves to go out because we don’t want you to think that we’re self-absorbed, rude and that we don’t like spending time with you.

11. If we let you in our life, you are in.

We can be pensive and reserved, and we don’t like hanging out with people whose company we don’t enjoy. But, if we open ourselves to you and let you in our life, that means we really like you and that you’re very special to us.

Riley Cooper