How safe is to stay friends with an ex? Can you still remain kind and amicable even if you have split ways?
Psychologists think that you shouldn’t stay friends with your ex and here’s why.
Remaining friends with an ex may not be a wise move since one of the main reasons why people choose to remain friends with an ex is because their ex is a “safe” bet. Because they believe their ex is trustworthy and loyal to them when they were together, so they don’t want to lose all that.
Or, they still feel a chemistry and attraction to them. For men, however, the thought of sexual availability may be more important than trust.
However, according to some research, people with narcissistic, psychopathic or Mahiavelliainistic personalities are more likely to remain friends with their ex only because of the possibility of hooking up later on.
That’s why psychologists advise people not to continue seeing their exes. Psychologist Juliana Breines says that people who stay friends with their ex have not yet broken their dependency from their partner and from the relationship with them. This can soon lead to many negative and resentful feelings towards their ex.
So, what’s the solution to this?
Lindsay Kriger, a relationship expert, says that in her opinion, people should remove their exes from their lives altogether. Ignore them, delete them, block them… do whatever you need to do but don’t go back to talking to them and seeing them.
As Tony Robbins said, “I’ve come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy.”
What do you think? Are you still friends with your ex?
Image: Aurélien Buttin
