You do it all the time. You carefully choose what you wear at parties and other social events because you want to make sure you look modern and attractive in the eyes of the other people present there.
You hesitate to be creative or speak up at work because you worry that your coworkers will think you are boring or stupid.
After 50 selfies made, you post only the best one on social media so as to get hundreds of likes in order to prove to others and yourself, too, that you’re likable and pretty.
You constantly worry about what other people think of you.
Stop. Stop doing that.
Because other people’s opinion of you should be none of your concern. Since what someone thinks or says about you has nothing to do with who you are. It actually says more about them, their expectations, their past, their judgments, their likes, and their dislikes.
The truth is that some people will never like you, regardless of what you do or how hard you try. But, instead of worrying about what they think of you, don’t give a damn about them. Live your life the best way you can and focus solely on bettering yourself.
Here are 5 mindset shifts that can help you stop worrying about what others think of you:
1. Know that you’re the only one who is responsible for your own feelings.
When you base your feelings on other people’s opinions of you, you’re allowing them to have control over your life. You’re allowing them to define your worth and shape your happiness.
If someone criticizes you or disrespects you, you feel bad. You might think, “he made me feel this way by criticizing me or disrespecting me.” But the truth is that he doesn’t have control over the way you feel.
He disrespected you and you immediately assigned meaning to that behavior. For example, that meant to you that you aren’t smart enough or likable enough, or that you aren’t worthy of his time. So, we can conclude that it was YOU who hurt your own feelings, not him.
2. Always know your values.
By knowing your values and living your life in accordance with them, you’ll never be led astray. For example, inner peace is one of the things I value most in life and I always hold onto it when I need to say no to someone that’s asking for my time without worrying about whether they’ll judge me or think I’m selfish.
3. Always remember that you can’t control how other people behave and what they think of you.
What your cousin’s friend thinks of you is their business. Why your coworker always arrives late for work is their business. And if your neighbor always plays loud music at night … yes, you guessed it – it’s their business.
But, if you’re worried about what your cousin’s friend thinks about you, well, that’s your own business.
If you get mad with your neighbor because you can’t sleep at night due to their rude behavior, that’s your business.
What you need to remember is that the only business that you can control and that you should concern yourself with is YOURS.
4. Always remember that everyone makes mistakes.
Yes, we all make mistakes – and that’s okay. Because even if you’re living your life in accordance with your own beliefs, principles, and values, even if you’re doing your best, and even if you know your worth, you’ll still make mistakes.
But, instead of dwelling on your mistakes and criticizing yourself for them, you should learn from them. You should perceive them as valuable lessons that can teach you how to do things right, how to better yourself, and how to get where you want to be in life.
5. Always remember that you’re doing your best.
How many times have you felt terrible and criticized yourself since you thought that you said something stupid or that you looked weird? Once, twice, ten times, maybe?
What you always need to keep in mind is that every single time you did the best you could. Because we all do things with a positive intent every day. That’s the reason why you should never have regrets about how you behaved in a certain situation. Perhaps you could’ve done it better, but you did the best you could, and you should never ignore that fact.