When it comes to love, we often mistake controlling and toxic people for caring and affectionate partners. The main reason for this, in my opinion, is our innate need to be loved and accepted. To be understood, to be embraced with all our flows, and to just be sheltered from the cruel world. Because let’s admit it. This is something that we all need in life. Something that we all spend our lives seeking. (1)
And also something that most of the time gets us involved with people that aren’t always good for us. Like it or not, controlling people are everywhere. The chances to come across one and ultimately get involved with romantically, are really big. Especially if you are someone who is not afraid to wear their heart on their sleeve. To express their emotions freely. To love passionately.
The reality is, it can happen to anyone. Below I am going to explain some of the common, telltale signs that you are involved with a partner who is trying to control you. This behavior may not be noticeable at first; that is why it is crucial to pay close attention to their actions:
1. They are jealous of you.
If there is something they must always know then that is where you are, what you are doing, and who you are with. A toxic, controlling partner doesn’t like your friends, coworkers, or any person you have contact with. In their mind, every person from the outside world can be a possible threat to them and your relationship.
2. They don’t trust you.
They never just take your word for things. That is why they often question you. Some times they even put you up to tests just so they can force you to prove your loyalty to them. It’s exhausting really. Having to explain yourself for every little thing to another person in your life, no matter what role they have in your life is not normal. That’s not the way relationships work.
3. They always make a scene when things don’t go their way.
It’s either their way or nothing at all. Having a toxic, controlling partner beside you is having a constant battle between trying to stand up for yourself and not making them angry. This is not a healthy environment. Trust me. It is not something worth losing yourself over.
4. They can’t stop themselves from going through your stuff.
Controlling partners want to know every little detail of your life. Whatever you want to do, they have to first approve of it. That is why they always do whatever it takes to invade your privacy. It’s that kind of toxicity that scars people for life and takes their hopes away. Don’t let that happen to you.
5. They criticize your opinions and choices.
Nothing you do is ever good enough for them. No matter how much you try to do well, they always find something about you that bothers them and try to change you. (2)
6. They rarely let you enjoy your time alone.
Whenever you wish to spend some time on your own, they always find a way to interfere with your plans. They must always be involved, otherwise, the drama is unavoidable. You’ll have to face it and cope with it for a long time after it.
7. They guilt-trip you to get what they want.
This one is by far the most manipulative game these people play. It is their favorite method to crawl under your skin, get inside your head, and get you to do whatever they want.