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To Everyone Who Is Worried That They’ll Never Find ‘The One’

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I want you to imagine a scenario right now. Imagine that you have the power to look into your future and when you do that, you see that you are never going to meet ‘the one’ – your soulmate, the love of your life, your destined person.

Yes, this is a terrible and sad thing to think about, I know. I know that everyone hopes to find ‘the one’ person who will change their world and ‘fulfill’ them in every way possible. Or, at least, a person who will be ‘normal’ enough with whom they can imagine themselves living the rest of their life and not wanting to “kill” each other.

Let’s be honest. We all want that. We all hope to find the right person for us. We are human after all. However, what if you are 100% certain that you will never meet that special someone? What will this knowledge change in your life?

Because the truth is, love is affecting our lives constantly. Even if we hate to admit it, it’s true. Love is the main inspiration behind most of the changes that you make in your life.

Therefore, if you know now that you’re never going to find love, how are you going to live your life? What changes are you going to make?

If your first answer is ‘nothing,’ I understand. I know you are smart enough to not let your decisions and plans be affected by someone else’s presence in your life. But, do think a bit more. The thing you fail to see is that love can sometimes be a crutch that prevents us for becoming our best selves because we subconsciously still believe that one day we will meet someone and that someone will save us, and everything will be okay. But what if that doesn’t happen? Then, what?

Will you focus on your career more? Will you reshape your life? Or will you focus entirely on yourself and invest in new experiences and getting out of your comfort zone?

My point here is that we should start liberating ourselves from the idea that finding love will give a purpose to our lives and start living our lives instead – without the fear of never finding someone and ending up alone. Instead, we could live wherever we want to live. We could choose the career we want. We could decide to go back to school and finally get the degree we always wanted to have.

Because love has a power to holds us back so subtly and silently without us even realizing. And when we free ourselves from the expectations and get comfortable with the absence of it – it’s the ultimate liberation. That’s when we’ll truly start living.

We will be free to design a life for ourselves. To spend all the time in the world on ourselves, pampering, developing, challenging, and building ourselves into the best versions of us. In other words, we can find the soulmate we’ve been searching for in ourselves.

Become the person you’ve been waiting for all your life. Stop waiting around for your ‘other half’. You are not a half. You are a whole person. Be someone who lives your life as you are the love of your life. Treat yourself that way.

That’s the real game changer. And then let others come and search for you.

Mary Wright