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This Is Me Giving Up: I Am Done Waiting For You To Make Up Your Mind

This Is Me Giving Up: I Am Done Waiting For You To Make Up Your Mind

There was a time when I did everything for you. Back then, I was a different person.

I believed that somewhere deep down you have emotions. That regardless of your actions, you actually love me and care for me. But looking back, it is clear to me why we’re here.

We were never meant for each other. Because love-sided love is not love.

So, this is me giving up. This is me letting go of you…

I am done waiting for you to answer my calls or text me back. I can no longer live like this. The suspense is unbearable, and it is slowly killing me. So, that’s it. I will no longer stare at my phone asking myself what I have done to actually deserve this. I will no longer blame myself for your behavior. I will no longer burden my mind with why you aren’t answering. I need peace in my life.

I am done waiting for you to put a label on our relationship. If I am nothing more to you than just a friend that you love to hang out with on free weekends, I am out. Stop lying to me in private when you are too afraid to make this official and introduce me as your girlfriend. I am done playing your games. I am done settling for crumbs. I need real love.

I am done feeling like I am not good enough for you. I am not made of stone. I am a human being who is hurting.  I feel deeply and I cannot let myself go through these things anymore… There is nothing wrong with me. And I won’t let you convince me otherwise. I won’t let you break me. The fact that you cannot love me the way I do has nothing to do with my worth. And I won’t let that make me feel insecure about myself. I deserve love and I will find it, far away from you.

I am done settling for less than I deserve. I don’t want an almost. I am not in this for maybe. I want forever and I want to be certain. I don’t want to wake up from a nightmare in the middle of the night and cry until the morning. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life beating myself up for choosing you. I don’t want to torment myself. I don’t want to live in despair. I no longer have the patience to figure you out. I deserve more than this.

I am done waiting for you to make up your mind about me. I am not someone you could play with until you get bored. I am done chasing after you. I am done giving a damn about what you need. I’ve been through so much pain with you, and I admit it, it was my fault. I was young and naïve.

But now… Now, I’m a different person.

And I don’t have anything else to tell you than this. I am done with you. Forever.

Stephanie Reeds