To the man who has fallen in love with a widow and he is ready to welcome her into his life…
Know this. She has seen the depths of the fiery hell and she has survived the darkness. But she doesn’t need saving. She doesn’t need you to fix her. She is a fierce, loving and a brave woman who has been through the worst in life, and yet, she is still standing. She is braver than any other woman you’ve ever met.
She’s felt pain in the worst way possible. She has faced death. She has lost more than words can explain. But she has survived having her heart torn. She has survived having her soul ripped apart. Because she had no other choice but to fight back. For her own sake and for the sake of her loved ones.
So, if she is choosing to love again, know that even though she has been through her worst, she is ready to open up and let you inside her world. Know that her courage to experience love once again is the only thing that guides her through life. Know that she is not afraid to fall in love, so be there for her…
There will be days when the world will be too much for her. It will shake her to the core, and it will push her down. There will be moments when life will make her feel overwhelmed and exhausted. But she will breathe in and she will survive them on her own, just like she survived her loss.
It’s not your job to save her, but simply to offer her your hand when she is knee-deep in mud and share your love and compassion with her once she gets herself out of the mess. You don’t need to fight her demons or fix her scars, so please, don’t try. She doesn’t need a knight on a white horse, she needs a person who will look her in the eyes and tell her, “You will survive this, just the way you survived everything else”.
A woman who has been through hell and back will need you to accept her for who she is. Strong and self-sufficient. Fragile and vulnerable. She will need you to be willing to look deep into her heart and accept the fact that a part of her will always love the man that she has lost, and that part will always belong to that person.
Most of all, she will need you to understand that this doesn’t mean that she has no place left for you in her heart. Because once this woman decides to open up to you, her heart will expand, and she will love you more than you’ve ever been loved before. Yes, she’s lost, and yes, she’s been hurt the way you couldn’t even imagine, but the fact that someone else is willing to accept her with all of her baggage and be there to calm her storms is more than she could as for after such tragic loss.
So, be that person for her. Don’t try to fix her, but rather caress her scars. Be around when she heals. Encourage her to keep moving on. Let her know that you are here for her to lean on you whenever she feels like it. Listen to her stories. Care to learn more about the person that she’s lost forever.
If you love her, show her that you want to be a part of her world, no matter how shattered and flawed it is.