This goes to every woman out there who has ever had her heart broken and her soul bruised. This goes to every woman whose hopes have been shattered by a toxic man. Let these words cure your wounds and mend your broken heart.
My heart was broken once too. I know how it feels.
I know how it feels when you feel weak and unimportant. I know how it feels when you’re feeling taken for granted.
I know how it hurts when your heart is broken by the person you love the most.
I know all this because I’ve already experienced that. I went through hell and back for someone who didn’t deserve anything from me. Someone who didn’t deserve my trust. My respect. My love. Someone who didn’t deserve me.
So, here I am. I’m ready to bare my soul to you. And I truly hope that my story is the cure you need to heal your pain and start believing in yourself again.
So, here are a few words about the man that I was in a relationship with and how I healed.
I dated a man whom I thought I knew well.
But I didn’t. I didn’t know who he was. Because when I started dating him, he was the sweetest and most compassionate and loving person. He was always patient with me. He made me feel like my life was a fairy tale.
However, as soon as he knew he had me wrapped around his little finger and that I wouldn’t leave, he started showing his real face. He proudly showed me his true colors and intentions. He fearlessly showed me who he really was. He was a selfish, manipulative, cruel person. He was heartless.
I dated a man that took advantage of me and my kindness.
I can’t tell how many times I made excuses for his mistakes and hurtful words. I can’t tell how many times I overlooked his selfishness, indifference, and bad behavior.
Call me naïve. Call me stupid. Call me crazy for letting myself do all this. But I was deeply and madly in love with him. I wanted him to be the person I thought he was. I wanted him to be the person that managed to steal my heart the moment I saw him first.
But the truth was that he was never the kind, tender, and loving person I thought he was. He was just someone I created in my own mind. And I loved that person. I loved him so bad that I believed his lies and allowed him to manipulate me.
I dated a man that made me feel unworthy.
I was weak and I let him make me lose my self-confidence. He made me doubt my qualities and strength. He made me doubt myself.
He made me feel ashamed of who I was. Every time I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw my flaws. My insecurities. My fears. My mistakes.
Now I know that the greatest mistake I’ve ever made in my life was choosing him.
I dated a man who made me doubt everyone around me.
Because of him, I believed that all people are hypocrites and liars. Because of him, I stopped looking for the good in others. Because of him, I stopped believing that true love existed.
I dated a man that was incapable of loving anyone but himself.
I loved him honestly and unconditionally. I loved him from the bottom of my heart. I was never afraid to sacrifice my own needs, priorities, and wishes for his happiness. I was always willing to make compromises for the sake of our relationship. Why?
Because I truly loved him and wanted to make him happy. Because I wanted our relationship to last forever.
But it was all in vain. He never loved me. He never appreciated the things I was doing for him. He never appreciated my efforts. My love. Me.
He never bothered to get to know me better. To reach the deepest parts of my soul – the parts where I keep my insecurities and fears. The parts that make the person I am.
I dated a man who did whatever he could to make himself feel superior to me.
He was so manipulative that he always found a way to make every conversation about himself. Our entire relationship was all about him. He never bothered to ask how I spent the day or whether I needed something. He never bothered to make me feel loved and desired.
It never occurred to him that I felt lonelier when I was around him than when I was alone. All he ever cared about was having the power in our relationship. And he had it. I let him have it.
Yes, I allowed him to control our relationship because I never lost hope that he’d change. That he’d realize how much I loved him. That he’d love me back.
I dated a man who made me the woman I am today.
Leaving him was the first step to the new me. Strong, wise, resilient, confident – that’s who I am today. I know my worth and I can see all my good sides. I’m aware of all my weaknesses and imperfections and I embrace them. I’m not ashamed of them.
Now I feel able to smile again.
Now I don’t let anyone play with my feelings and diminish my confidence.
Now I don’t let anyone determine and shape my happiness and worth.
I’ve realized that the only person who is responsible for my own happiness, inner peace, and sense of self-worth is – ME . And no one else.