Parenting is about loving and supporting your child wholeheartedly, not controlling them. It’s about being aware of and acknowledging your child’s needs and desires, not ignoring or denying them. It’s about making your relationship stronger, closer, and more loving, not disrespecting their boundaries or controlling their interests, hobbies, and behavior.
Parenting isn’t about controlling your child. It isn’t about what you were able to make them do since you yelled at them or threatened them. Instead, it is about a genuine, close emotional connection. It is about a real, deep desire to comfort and support each other and share in the joy.
Parenting is about establishing standards and expectations for your child and then holding them to them. This means setting rules for how to express disappointment, sadness, or anger or how to speak with each other.
Parenting is also about being patient with each other and accepting each other’s weaknesses and imperfections.
But, let’s get one thing straight: This doesn’t mean that your child is in control. It does not mean that they have permission to disobey you or destroy walls or furniture. It just means that you have a standard and an expectation for how your child will vent their frustration or anger, with the willingness to listen to them attentively and respond to the need they’re sharing with you through their words or behavior.
As a parent, it’s not your job to control your child. Your job is to be aware of and understand their needs and temperament.
It’s not your job to create expectations about who your child would be and become and then make them fit those expectations either. Instead, your job is to understand your child’s interests and ambitions and let them grow into independent and confident individuals. Your job is to help them grow into individuals that will be aware of their skills, talents as well as limitations.
Parenting is about knowing when to teach, when to coach, when to let your child struggle, and when to watch as your little loved one tries to figure it out themselves from the distance.
And most importantly, parenting is about understanding in what ways your child is different from you as well as listening and responding to them the way they need and deserve to be responded to each moment.