Love is wild, pure, free and it cannot be tamed. We don’t have the power to control it. Because after all, we are only humans. We’re made of flesh, blood and that little thing that keeps ticking inside our chest. Our heart.
Love is free-flowing, spontaneous and powerful.
The thing is… You never know where it will take you.
For the heart never chooses who to love. It just loves. With all its intensity. And so, sometimes it takes us a completely wrong path.
It faces us with the pain of loving someone who can’t love us back. It makes us fall in love with a person who isn’t capable of giving us as much we deserve.
In that particular moment, it feels like our world has been shattered to pieces. But when this becomes our sad reality, there’s nothing else we can do but accept it. Despite all the heartache. Despite the tears.
So, here are 8 effective ways to handle your pain of loving a person you can’t have:
1. TRY TO ENJOY YOUR TIME TOGETHER
When you keep spending time with someone you love but can’t have, it will definitely become tempting for you to ask for more. However, if it’s already established that it can never happen, this will only lead you to depression and more pain.
That’s why the best thing you could do is to settle this thing with yourself and enjoy your time with them as a friend. After all, it might be better to have that person in your life as a friend, than nothing at all.
2. FIND A HOBBY AND DIVE INSIDE THE WORLD OF CREATIVITY
The pain of desperately loving someone who can’t be with you can eventually keep you from focusing on other things. However, one of the best ways to prevent your mind from hopelessly wandering for that person is engaging in different, non-related activities.
Just try to find something you love, and start doing it. Find yourself some hobby, anything you enjoy creating. You’ll notice that the more you immerse your mind in the process, the less obsessed you’ll be with that certain person.
3. PROTECT YOURSELF
Being friends with this person is possible. You can be there whenever they need you. However, you need to make sure to protect your feelings. When it suddenly becomes too much for you to handle, don’t hesitate to express your emotions and if it makes you feel any better, just leave. A person who truly cares for you will understand your actions. Self-care should never be compromised.
4.MAINTAIN A SOLID SUPPORT SYSTEM (YOU’RE GOING TO NEED IT)
The most important thing you want to do in this situation is to surround yourself with people who love you. Make sure to establish a solid and bulletproof, support system.
There will be times when you’ll be at your most vulnerable. And those will be the times when you’ll need these people more than ever. Don’t make the mistake of isolating yourself. It will only be harder for you.
5. MAKE SOME HEALTHY BOUNDARIES BY LIMITING YOUR CONTACT WITH THEM
No matter how painful it is, you will have to keep moving. You will have to be brave enough to let go.
Your heart will scream. But, in this situation, it is crucial to not let it overrule your mind. If you are in insufferable pain, remind yourself that they weren’t meant for you.
Try to remember that you are the only person who can take care of YOU. Remind yourself that you need to stop obsessing and you need to start healing your wounds.
Time will mend your heart. I promise.
6. START DATING OTHER PEOPLE
It will hurt, but you will have to accept the awful truth that you two would never be together. And probably one of the best ways to do that is to start dating other people.
But, it is important to understand that you shouldn’t look for them in another person. It is not like you would be able to control that, but for once, just try to enjoy the people in your life for what they truly are.
Don’t try to mold them into the person you so desperately love, don’t try to change them. Just open yourself to the possibility of finding true love.
7. LET THEM KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL
It is always best, to be honest, and open about your feelings. Express your feelings and find the closure you desperately needed. Do it for your wellbeing.
Get it off your chest. Talk it out in order to help yourself and move on. But, don’t do it to make them feel bad for you. Don’t try to entrap them by exposing your vulnerable side.
Leave your expectations aside, be honest and do what you have to do. If they care for you, they’ll understand.