To a lot of people, being quiet is seen as a negative even when amongst friends or at family gatherings. People might say you are boring, unengaging, awkward, or even being rude by not striking up conversations.
Now, this is an inherently false outlook on people who are quiet and on being quiet in and of itself. They might even treat you as if you had some sort of disease, or like you had a negative addiction to smoking, drinking, or gambling for your Grande Vegas casino bonuses.
Of course, they don’t see it exactly like there is something wrong with you, but that is sometimes how you can be treated for being a quiet or shy person. They will tell you to be more extroverted, and that you are not being social.
But, is this true, and if not, what are the positives that could come out of being a person that is simply more on the quiet side?
Are you Boring if you are Quiet?
First of all, I want to address what the downsides of being quiet are before I talk about why it is not a bad thing. The first and biggest thing is that it is true you are probably not always interesting to talk to.
Now, this doesn’t have to be true depending upon what you are talking about, and how understanding and guiding the other person is, but it definitely can happen. Sometimes, being quiet can sort of dead-end a conversation.
However, this absolutely is not something to blame yourself or someone else for! Sometimes, people simply get shy or flustered when talking. Or perhaps they simply just don’t know what to talk about.
Nevertheless, it might be worthwhile for someone who is quieter to try to work on coming out of their comfort zone. Although I think it is rude for other people to make assumptions about you based solely on you being quiet, and not on who you are as a person.
Do not think that I am saying there is something wrong with you if you are quiet though. I’m a quiet person myself, so I know the struggle of wanting to talk but just not knowing what to talk about, or feeling too shy to talk.
Quiet is Comfort
Now, being quiet can actually have some nice benefits when it comes to conversation, intimacy with friends or loved ones, or being able to support other people.
First of all, I find people who are more on the quiet side, are also better and more attentive listeners. Perhaps this is sort of a compensatory thing, but either way, I find it to be true.
Simply, if you don’t have anything to say or don’t feel comfortable to speak, that leaves with only being able to listen. Many people will actually appreciate this a lot.
People like to be heard and understood. By being an attentive listener you will make people feel like you care about them and what they are talking about.
Another good thing about being quiet is simply that you are perfectly fine with being quiet! Awkward silence is something that seems to plague a lot of people who are used to talking a lot.
But, why does your silence have to be awkward? If you don’t have something to talk about, what is so wrong with just being able to enjoy each other’s presence?
I personally have found it to be a deeply profound thing to be able to just sit in silence with someone I really care about. I don’t feel like there is something awkward or wrong if we don’t talk, I just am happy to enjoy them being with me.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but sometimes a moment can be worth a million. Or even a billion! Sometimes there is just simply no string of words you could ever come up with to express yourself.
Yet, all that can be expressed by the feeling you get or give of. The way you smile, or the way you look at someone. Talking is just a form of communication. Sometimes we don’t need words to express ourselves.
Another benefit to being a quiet person is simply that they are more likely to speak very little but say a lot. This is because a quiet person simply talks less, so they usually only speak if they feel it is necessary.
Now, what is meant when I say, “they are more likely to speak very little, but say a lot”?
This means that since a quiet person wouldn’t speak a lot unless they think it is necessary, they are more likely to say things of great meaning and value. People who talk a lot can tend to speak much but say very little.
Now, don’t get me wrong, talking for the sake of talking isn’t a bad thing! You don’t have to be some profound sage all the time! In fact, being able to just chill and hang out is also a great thing!
Some people may take it too far in fact. There are some people who might think that if you aren’t saying something deep or important then you shouldn’t say anything. But this is not true.
We are all human, and we can enjoy just being able to relax and not worry about being smart or dumb or silly or serious. It’s important to be able to just simply be you, and not worry about what other people might think of you.
It is Chill to Chill
Finally, people who talk less can tend to also just be more chill or go with the flow kind of people. They usually don’t care to argue or dispute what they do or where they go, so they are great to simply hang around and chill with.
Now, I personally think it’s great to be able to just chill. You don’t always have to be super ‘hype’ about everything. This makes quiet people easy and comforting to spend time with.
It can also be less likely for a quiet person to get into big arguments or fights with other people. They already are quiet, so they probably won’t find any ready to start yelling or getting very mad at someone over something little.
It also means they will be less likely to make a fuss about what you do when you spend time with them or if they spend time with other people. They are just happy to spend time with other people, so they don’t necessarily find the need to make a big argument or mess out of where they will go or what they will do.
But, at the end of the day, everyone has their own merits and values. Nobody should really think they are better or worse than anyone else for something as simple as being quiet or being talkative.
No matter who you are, you have value as a person. Don’t let a single person tell you that just because of something about you, you are wrong or a bad person. Everyone is special in their own, perhaps small, way.