When it comes to modern dating, one of the things which is on the rise is breakups. Indeed, it seems like we’ve become inept at making relationships last. It seems like we’ve got used to failing at love despite trying so hard to maintain our relationships.
So, the question is: Why are relationships so difficult these days?
Have we forgotten the importance of commitment? Have we forgotten what loving someone honestly and unconditionally means? Or have we forgotten how to love?
Well, while the answer to some of the above-mentioned questions could be yes, I think that there are some much more serious problems that cause relationships to break down.
Here are five of them:
1. We aren’t ready for love.
What does being ready for love mean?
It means being ready for the patience, compassion, self-sacrifice, commitment, and mutual respect that genuine and unconditional love demands from us. It means not giving up on your partner at the first sign of trouble. It means being willing to make compromises for the sake of your relationship. It means being willing to fight for your relationship with every fiber of your being.
2. We aren’t communicating openly.
Always having open communication with your partner is a prerequisite for building a healthy, happy, and long-lasting relationship.
It’s impossible to satisfy your partner’s needs and solve your relationship problems without openly sharing with each other what is on your mind. Unfortunately, we oftentimes avoid solving our relationship issues because we think that if we complain to our partner about something related to their behavior or the relationship itself, we’ll hurt their feelings.
But, what you need to know is that by bottling your feelings up and staying silent, you end up subconsciously resenting your partner for hurting you. And there’s no place for resentment in any healthy and loving relationship.
3. We’re not looking for real love – we’re looking just for excitement.
We’re looking for someone with whom we’ll go to parties and watch movies, and not someone who will be able to hear our unsaid thoughts and feel our innermost feelings. We’re looking for someone whom we’ll spend time and have fun with, not someone whom we’ll make memories with.
We aren’t looking for someone whom we’ll want to spend the rest of our life with, only someone that can make us feel content for a short period of time. We settle for relationships that can break down in the blink of an eye when things get monotonous and stale.
4. We aren’t able to trust each other.
If you and your partner aren’t able to fully trust each other, then what’s the point of staying in the relationship? Because if you don’t trust each other, your relationship will never develop into something truly fulfilling and special.
In order for you and your partner to fully trust each other, you need to make sure that you don’t bring the problems, fears, and insecurities from your previous relationships into the present one.
For example, if your partner has been hurt or cheated on in their previous relationships and they fear that they might go through the same again, make sure they know that you truly love them and care about them and that you’d never break their trust in you or hurt them.
5. We’ve become too guarded.
We’ve become too guarded because we’re scared to do so many things. We’re scared to fall in love. We’re scared to trust others. We’re scared to openly show our emotions. We’re scared to be vulnerable. We’re scared to commit. We’re scared to get hurt.
We build walls around ourselves and guard our hearts. And all of this makes us too easily give up on the person we’re in a relationship with even before we’ve got the chance to experience true love.