She looks like every other normal, self- confident and cheerful person out there. At least she tries to look like she’s having fun without a single care on her mind.
But the reality is far more overwhelming for her.
Because underneath that cool exterior she chose to display for the outside world, there lies a vulnerable, little girl who is desperate to accept her own flaws and mistakes. But she struggles.
She likes to show the world that she couldn’t care less if a person dislikes her, but the reality is – she cares. A lot.
Her insecurities lurk behind every corner and just wait that perfect moment for their final strike.
She may be good enough for some, and not so good for others. But, none of this would actually matter if she felt good enough in her own skin. None of this would ever be an issue if she had the courage to embrace herself just the way she is.
But, that’s usually easier said than done.
Just tell me how can a person grow up to love themselves, when they’ve spent their whole life being discouraged from pursuing their dreams?
And how can you find the strength to embrace yourself, when someone you care about from the bottom of your heart, constantly brings you down?
When the person you love more than anything in the world and you chose to spend your life with just doesn’t bother to choose you?
She gave every part of her, but everything she got in return was her heart broken in half, the burnt leftovers of her dream of ending “happily ever after” and those voices inside of her that will keep on reminding her that she was never good enough.
But I guess that’s the price you pay when you open your warm and welcoming embrace to a person who isn’t ready to be your home, your safe place. Someone who is only up for it until something better comes along.
So, now she has no more strength left in her soul to fight the obstacles in life in order to keep moving forward in life.
She has no energy to prove to the world that she is more than enough. Her spirit was crushed so hard, that she lost every sense of self-respect.
She feels like she completely lost control over her world. She lost the faith in herself she once had. She is now confused more than ever.
She hates the demons inside herself because they make her even crazier, but she doesn’t know how to destroy them.
So, she blames herself for everything. When someone leaves her, she blames her neediness for love. When someone breaks her heart, she blames herself for not being worthy of love.
She blames herself for not being too funny, loving, cute, smart or interesting enough. She blames herself for not putting out sooner. She blames herself for being left alone.
People often perceive her as incompetent and lazy, but that’s not who she is.
It’s just, she’s knee deep in mud and she has no clue how to get up and get going. She’s stuck in the never-ending maze of self-hate that was created by her mind.
And, believe me, she hates that she can’t find her way out. She’s desperate.
All she needs is a helping hand. Someone who would be brave for her and just help her make that initial step towards freedom.
A person who would go after her, even if it took days and mouths to find her. Someone who would show her worth and help her find the exit door to her madness.
A good, sincere man who would remind her she is amazing. A man who would show her that this life is short and there’s so much more to it than seeking approval from others.
A man who would give her everything her heart yearned for and more.
So, please when you meet this woman, be good to her. Show her your truest colors. And show her that she’s not her insecurities.
Most importantly, show her that inside of her lies a fearless, brave woman who is ready to love and be loved!
Image: Miklós Bercsényi
