If you are hard on yourself for falling for a toxic person and not being able to let go, this is for you.
I know you want to understand how you could love someone who doesn’t love you back. I know you are questioning yourself what you did wrong in the relationship and if it was your fault for ending the way it did.
I am you.
I am still trying to forgive myself for putting myself through all that pain and agony and not being able to walk away. I am still sometimes wondering whether someone will love me again.
Sometimes, I am asking myself all these questions, “Why?” “Why did I love someone more than I love myself?” “Why have I become so needy?” “What’s in me that couldn’t let go?” “Why did I let them abuse me and take me from granted?” “Am I that stupid?”
No. I am not stupid. Neither are you.
We are kind and hopeful. And when we found a person to love, we fell for them quickly and we loved them intensely because our emotions are not shallow – they are deep and profound.
We are not stupid for loving someone with all our heart. We are not stupid for changing ourselves to make the toxic person love us.
Because, we naively thought that if we changed our attitude, if we said the right things, if we did the right things, if we became more loving, more understanding, more “something” than they would also change and became the person we wanted them to be. How foolish, right?
But, hear me out. We were not stupid for loving someone and believing in true love. We were not stupid for wanting to make things work. We were kind warriors. Love was our fighting power and we won. We won regardless of how long the fight lasted. We won because we learned a valuable life lesson and we are now stronger than ever.
We are not stupid for believing people are good at heart. We are not stupid for loving them and treating them with respect and kindness and expecting the same in return. They were sometimes loving and very convincing in their desire to change and become better people and we believed them because we are believers.
You are not stupid for staying. You are strong for it. Not many can endure what you have gone through. The pain was real. The heartbreak was real. You are very brave for staying with someone who was hurting you like that and trying to make them a better person.
You deserve a f*cking medal!
Therefore, please don’t think you were stupid for being with them. You were brave. And kind. And loving. And amazing. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.