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I Was Trapped In A Toxic Relationship For Years Since I Couldn’t Afford To Leave


I’ve had a couple of messy, draining relationships in the past. My excuses for not ending them and saving myself from selfish, inconsiderate men ranged from being scared to be single to being afraid he might become aggressive and physically hurt me. This time, what kept me staying in a relationship that I didn’t want to be in were purely financial issues.

Living together with someone that I didn’t love under the same roof for three years made me feel like an animal trapped in a cage. I simply couldn’t find a way out.

And here’s how I ended up in a toxic relationship:

1. We started living together since we were both broke.

Of course, we loved each other too. But the idea of living together in an apartment that would cost us half the price and financially supporting each other appeared quite irresistible at the time.

2. In no time, we realized that our tastes were entirely incompatible.

We started living together without taking the time to see if we had the same taste when it comes to organizing our living space. It was not like his taste was better than mine or the other way around– but his idea of what our apartment should look like was completely different from mine.

3. We quickly began getting on each other’s nerves.

Well, not only was our taste in aesthetic entirely incompatible, but our daily interests, likes, and dislikes were completely different as well. As soon as we started living together, I took on the role of nagging wife and he became a video game-playing addict. Trust me, our honeymoon phase wasn’t ‘honey’ at all.

4. We stopped being physically intimate.

Maybe the spark between us disappeared or we simply stopped feeling comfortable in our tiny bedroom, but after a year we started being physically intimate only once a weak and after a while, we completely stopped sleeping together. It turns out that not only was the spark between us gone but the spark in our bed too.

5. We begin sleeping in separate rooms.

Well, this wasn’t unexpected. Not being physically intimate led us to start sleeping in separate rooms. I continued sleeping in our bedroom and he started sleeping on the couch in the living room. Gradually, sleeping in separate rooms led us to leave separate lives.

6. We started ignoring each other.

It was like we stopped noticing each other. Like we weren’t aware of each other’s existence. Like we had never loved each other. We got up, went to work, got back home, and pretended like the other person didn’t exist. We even stopped having dinner together. The only time we spoke was when our friends came to visit us.

7. We started having arguments every day.

And sometimes, they were pretty hostile. We turned into a crazy couple that used every opportunity to fight, shout, and scream at each other. We argued about everything – from whose turn it was to pay the bills or buy groceries to who was earning more money. Our home turned into a real battlefield.

8. Moving in together destroyed our relationship.

It’s not that we were a perfect couple before we started living together, but we were happy and satisfied with our relationship. We liked the way we felt when we were around each other. Sadly, we didn’t know that our plan, which originally seemed like a great idea, to start living together would actually tear us apart and destroy our relationship.

Riley Cooper