I texted first. I called you first. You didn’t pick up, but I called you again. I desperately wanted to leave you alone and bring you closer to me at the same time. I wanted to create a healthy balance between us, but you didn’t let me.
I gave you the time of my day. I complimented you. I dressed up for you. I told you how much I loved you and missed you were you were not around. I worked so hard to make it work because I really thought that you were worth it.
And what did you do? You were sending me mixed signals. You were ignoring my texts and calls.
But I continued pushing forward. I was aware of your mistreatment and still chose to forgive you every single time. I forgave all the canceled plans, all the ignored calls, and all the times you were not there for me.
Why did I do that? I was refusing to let you go because I really believed that you were scared about getting into a relationship and that was the reason why you were behaving like that. I thought you just needed more time to call me your girlfriend.
I felt that if I tried harder, then you would come to your senses and realize I was the one. I thought that pursuing you was the right thing to do.
But, I got tired. The whole chase has really exhausted me. Because you never called me your girlfriend, you never told me you loved me, you never put an effort into us and what we had.
That’s why I decided to stop chasing you. I decided to walk away from you and the idea of having something stable and meaningful with you. I made peace with the fact that you are never going to love me the way I love you.
However, I never stopped loving you.
I might have stopped pursuing you, but deep inside, I never stopped wanting to be with you.
I still have love for you in my heart. But, I am not going to continue chasing someone who doesn’t feel the same about me.
I cannot do this to myself anymore. I cannot put myself into the agony of overanalyzing your behavior and your mixed messages. I cannot allow you to hurt me anymore.
I must stand up for myself this time.
