Not all people are good at saying goodbye. As a result, not all of us have been given the opportunity to actually close a certain chapter in our life and say goodbye.
The bitter truth is, we’ve all been through the pain of letting go of unrequited love, giving up on failed, fading relationships and forgetting people that meant the world to us. We’ve all been at war with ourselves. And we’ve all felt what it’s like to not get closure.
It’s too damn hard, I know.
Because I am someone who always wears their heart for a sleeve. Someone who likes to show that sleeve to everyone and throw it to people who are kind and loving. I am a person who believes in love and accepts people for who they truly are. I like to put the effort into my relationships. Because at the end of the day I truly cherish the few people in my life. Without them, I would have never become the person I am today.
However, it wasn’t always that easy for me.
Many times, life surprised me and drag me down when I least expected. So, even though I am someone who believes in love, I am also someone who has been through a lot of disappointments in life. Don’t ask me how I managed to maintain my faith regardless of the heartbreaks. It still baffles me to this very day.
Long story short, I’ve been broken many times. And each and every time I was left all alone with no closure whatsoever. For a very long time in my life, I felt powerless and miserable. I thought that no matter how hard I tried to get out of that mess, I couldn’t.
But, as time passed by and I grew older, I realized that finding my inner peace had very little to do with the closure I never received from people. On the contrary, it all depended on me and my courage to actually accept the fact that no one is going to come to my door, say ‘I am sorry’ and bid farewell.
The truth is, life will always give us heartbreaks. The most important thing we can do is find a way to deal with that. And guess what, the only real way to actually deal with it, is to actually do that… suck it up and deal with it. By accepting the unfortunate events, releasing attachments from the ones that have hurt us and moving on regardless of our heartbreak.
I am not saying that it’s better to bottle up your feelings and pretend that you are fine.
If you need time to mourn the loss of your loved one, take it. Cry, scream from the top of your lungs, break something if you feel like it, lay in bed for days, but understand that at some point, you will have to close that door forever. For your own sake.
Hate that person, miss them like crazy and indulge in those feelings. Miss all of those moments that you spend together. Think about all of those conversations that changed something in you and made you loved them more than words can say. Miss the way they loved you and how warm their embrace was. Think about the way their beautiful eyes caressed you before you fall asleep. Let the nostalgia swallow you whole. Allow yourself to feel every emotion that flows through your body, no matter how painful it is.
And then right before you fall down into that endless abyss of sorrow, pinch yourself, come back to reality, say goodbye, lock that door, let go of that memory and just move on.
After all, the only person that you truly need to care about is you. You may not be powerful enough to see that right now, but you need yourself. You owe that love to yourself. Everything else is just a bonus.
So, don’t be afraid to close that door. Lock it up. Move on. Grow!