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How to Feel Empowered in Your Sex Life


Sex is like a game that grownups play when they’re in bed together. Kind of like wrestling except, at the end of it, both of you should be winners.

Because it should feel like that—a game—both of you must have fun. The experience has to be adventurous, exciting, daring, and messy. It should, at the very least, feel like that first time you both put your hands on each other (except for the pain and awkwardness, of course). But did you know that there are a few things we do every day that we might actually be getting in the way of our intimate alone time? (1)

What Might Be Ruining My Sex Life?

Sometimes, the small things we do every day can get in between us and our significant others. For instance, drinking too much caffeine can lower your libido. On top of this, working too hard, watching the news, being stuck on your phone, sleeping with a pet, eating unhealthy food—all of these done especially in the bedroom can ruin your sex life. Sometimes, if you do finally get down and dirty, you forget to feel your partner up or vice versa before engaging them. The session as a whole will feel too short and absolutely unsatisfying.

Since sex should be exciting, consider buying a sex toy. Sites like Devine Toys review different sex toys and can provide you with some interesting selections. Taking one with you when the lights are out will surely amp up the stimulation, especially because you’re building up to the sex itself.

Without further ado, here’s how you can feel empowered in your sex life and conquer your own bedroom with your partner once again:

  1. Never Skip Foreplay

Foreplay is extremely important. It doesn’t matter what kind of foreplay you do—what matters is that you should build up to the sex itself, not go after it hastily. Take a good movie for example you want to watch the film to see how the protagonist reaches a certain point, not skip ahead to the movie’s climax and watch that all the way to the ending.

Not only will foreplay encourage you to be patient, but it’s the anticipation that fuels that rush of dopamine in both your bodies. You’ll become more sensitive and more wanting, bringing you two closer together.

Speaking of movies… 

  1. Watch Something Erotic Together

There are a lot of couple-friendly flicks out there that can be more than just porn. While most of what’s available out there are intense and mostly cater to the gents, there are those that couples can enjoy and can be quite titillating if watched together.

Snuggle up in bed, whip out that phone, and get watching. One—or both—of you will be bound to get in the mood. (2)

Bedroom mess with lingerie and shoes, quick sex concept
  1. Try Something New

If it isn’t some minor spanking, try having sex where you usually don’t: in the closet, the kitchen, the living room while the kids are asleep, etc. It won’t hurt to get creative. As mentioned above, there’s always that option of trying out sex toys.

One other way that may require some study but might really pay off is bondage. Tie your partner up with ribbons, bind their hands with fuzzy handcuffs, or even try something exotic like shibari, or the art of Japanese rope bondage. Don’t forget the blindfolds! 

  1. Exercise, but Not Too Much

Hitting the gym or getting some physical exercise may make you more graceful and more energetic while in bed. Once you’ve conditioned your body enough through exercise, you should be able to impress your partner with your new burst of energy.

Don’t get too carried away, though. If you’re tired, you’re tired. You won’t be able to move around so much and you might just see sex as a chore more than time to spend with your lover. 

Rekindle That Passion

Never forget that sex is an act of both physical and emotional intimacy. Even if you’re getting older, there are always benefits to it if both of you have fun. Never forget to talk to your partner before and after you’ve spent your time with each other because, sometimes, it’s words between two hearts that really make the experience quite memorable.

David Smith