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How To Be Your Best Friend When You’re In Deep Grief And Your Heart Is Crying


Suffering and pain are part of life. No person can escape from them. When you find yourself in pain, when you cannot focus on anything else because your heart and soul cry from within, when you don’t know how you will survive through it… that’s how you know that you have started the process of healing.

You are your best friend and you need to treat yourself as such. Had your best friend been hurt, would you console her/him? Would you treat them with compassion? Would you hug them and give them love?

You are grieving. You are in pain. You need to treat yourself with love and compassion. You need to remember that as long as you have yourself you’ll never be alone. You need to be there for you when no one is.

Hug yourself and say to yourself “I will never abandon you. You are not alone. You have me and we will get through this together.”

Being truly self-compassionate means being loving, empathetic, and self-aware. When you feel like your world is crumbling down and you can’t get out of bed or force yourself to do anything, that’s when you should pick just one thing to do, even as simple as going to the kitchen and getting a glass of water. As for me, I meditate and then I drown myself in tears until I fall asleep. That’s how I cleanse myself. I need the tears.

You also need to surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you, be it your family or a close friend. Minimize the amount of time you spend with toxic people, people who drain your energy and make you feel even worse than you are already feeling. You are mentally and emotionally exhausted and you do need to recover and heal.

And sometimes you don’t need anyone near you. You only need yourself. And you are allowed to be selfish and say ‘no’ to people. You are allowed to be on your own for as long as you need to feel better and heal your wounded heart.

However, don’t let your self-compassionate behavior to become destructive. Keep an eye on your life as well. Don’t forget about your responsibilities. There are things that you must do and there are things that you needn’t do. Going out with your friends is a thing that is not necessary for you to do. Paying your rent? Well, that’s a must.

And when you find yourself tied to your bed without any will to move, you are allowed to ask for help. Ask a trusted friend of yours to help you handle your day. You don’t have to go through your suffering alone.

Finally, allow your sadness and grief to become a part of you. I don’t mean to never let yourself heal, but to live your life despite it. To remember that you could grieve and be sad anywhere and to let yourself do the things that you used to do before.

And remember, grief and sadness have no end date. Every person is different and so is their healing process.

But, in the end, you will get over it however cliché this sounds.

Just remember to be your own best friend.

Be kind to yourself.

Be loving to yourself.

And most importantly, be there for yourself. 

Mary Wright