Trust is a thing that can take years to build and only seconds to crush down. We live in a time when people are more and more afraid to open and be vulnerable in front of other people. And who can blame them? Sometimes it seems as if everyone is looking for themselves and their own gains. We forgot empathy and compassion. We have become emotionless robots hurting each other.
Pistanthrophobia is a fear of trust. It is a fear of opening up to others. It is a fear that you’ll get hurt if you start trusting someone and gift them your heart. It is a fear caused mainly by past traumatic experiences that involved abuse and betrayal.
When it comes to romantic relationships, part of being in one is to be willing to be vulnerable with your partner which only comes with trust. If you have pistanthrophobia, then it is essential to address your problem before you ruin your relationship. Here are 10 signs that show you have this fear.
1. YOU THINK IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY
It is as if you constantly wait for something bad to happen so that you can say to yourself, “I knew it.” You are always looking for red flags and things that can go wrong because you think that a happy relationship based on trust and love doesn’t exist.
2. YOU DOUBT EVERYTHING YOU ARE TOLD
It’s like you are programmed to take everything anyone says to you with a grain of salt. You don’t believe that a person can be genuinely honest and up-front about everything and so, you are always searching for the lies.
3. YOU TEND TO GET JEALOUS, EVEN OVER THE LITTLE THINGS
You don’t trust your partner and so, you get jealous and insecure very quickly and over the slightest things. Even the thought of your partner going out with friends can make you very uncomfortable and afraid.
4. YOU CRAVE FOR CONSTANT REASSURANCE ABOUT WHERE YOU STAND IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
You are always expecting that something will go wrong in your relationship and they will somehow betray you. Therefore, you must know where you stand, and you need to constantly be reminded of how much your partner loves you in order to not drive yourself crazy with overthinking.
5. YOU ARE OVERLY DEMANDING
You demand many things too quickly in the relationship. Let’s face it – you can’t expect your partner to do big things and make vows to you early in the relationship. Let the relationship flow naturally.
6. YOU HAVE MADE A DECISION TO NEVER TRUST ANYONE COMPLETELY
You’ve decided that people are not honest and therefore, you’ll never trust anyone fully. Regardless of how long you’ve known them, you will never trust them 100 percent. If you continue to go by this premise, you may never find true love and friendship.
7. YOU BELIEVE THAT IF ANYTHING COULD GET WRONG, IT WILL
You are a pessimist. You always assume the worst things.
8. YOU ARE ALWAYS SUSPICIOUS OF THE PEOPLE YOU MEET
You always act suspicious around people you are meeting for the first time. You suppose they are not honest and genuine. You constantly look to see what their angle is. You just can’t wrap your head around the idea that people can be good-hearted without any ulterior motives.
9. YOU ASSUME THAT EVERY PERSON IN YOUR LIFE IS GOING TO HURT YOU SOONER OR LATER
You believe that every person you open your heart to will hurt you sooner or later. Not every person is evil and wants to harm you. You need to give people a chance.
10. YOUR RELATIONSHIPS DON’T LAST LONG
Finally, due to all the reasons mentioned above, your relationships are usually short-lived.
What you can do? You need to reprogram your mindset and change your beliefs. This is a hard thing to do, but if you want to have a healthy relationship, you must do it. You must realize that not everyone is out there to hurt you. You must learn to let go of your control issues and be more open and vulnerable.
You must become more optimistic and positive person. Learn from your past relationships. Learn the lessons and stop making the same mistakes again.
And most importantly, give yourself time to heal and learn to trust again.