Home Love & Relationships He’s Been Hurt Before – He’ll Need Time To Start Trusting Again

He’s Been Hurt Before – He’ll Need Time To Start Trusting Again

He’s Been Hurt Before – He’ll Need Time To Start Trusting Again

We are the sum total of all our experiences. Everything that we go through in life shapes us in the long run, whether we like it or not. And when I say everything, I mean everything. That includes the pain that we experience on our journey.

In fact, the pain is probably the most important lesson.

It leaves us with the deepest, most painful wounds that sometimes cannot be healed. So, to find the courage to open your heart once again and really put yourself out there, that takes time. In some cases, time is not enough. In fact, in some cases, nothing is ever enough.

For broken glass is a broken glass… No matter how much you try to fix it, its cracks will always be visible…and its sharp edges will always cut you when you least expect it.

The same goes for a broken heart…

So how do you love a man who carries a big emotional suitcase on his shoulders?

How do you love a man who’s been hurt too many times in the past?

How do you make him feel comfortable enough to open his heart and trust again?

Here’s how.

The first thing I want you to understand is that it is not your fault. You are not the one responsible for his pain. You didn’t break him, you just happened to find him at that exact place and time. It was faith. So, know this. No matter how bad he behaves at times and no matter how harsh he sounds, he doesn’t mean it. It has nothing to do with you. That’s his past trauma resurfacing. It’s going to be hard, but if you really love this man, be there for him. He has a long journey ahead of him. If you care about him, don’t let him go through it alone.

Give him some time. Because he does trust you. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be here, wouldn’t he? His heart is completely in it, even though he seems insecure. He wouldn’t take this chance with you if he wasn’t sure you were the one. He wants this to work out more than you do. All you have to do is give him more time and be there for him. Show him that he can trust you completely and that you would never do anything to hurt him. Try to understand him when his words don’t make any sense. Try to put yourself in his shoes when he relives the same traumas over and over again.  

I know. This is his own issue and he has to find a way to deal with it on their own. Without making any excuse. Without hurting you in the process. But here’s another truth. If you’ve accepted to be a part of their life, you are in this together. If you’ve decided to give love a chance, do that. Don’t give up. Don’t let go. If you love him, love him! Take his hand and walk through those heavy thunderstorms together. Open your arms and welcome him into your world. Give him the love that he desperately craves.

Choose to believe in him. Choose to help him. Choose to be there for him. 

Stephanie Reeds