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Don’t Stay Single And Wait For ‘The One’ – Go Out, Date, And Make Mistakes In Love


I am sick and tired of reading things like “don’t settle for anyone until you meet a person like this”, or “stay single until you find a partner who will love you this way’… It’s starting to get annoying.

The thing is, we have so many boundaries. So many rules. We stop ourselves from going out and dating because we’ve been told to wait and not start anything until we find the right person. That’s it’s not okay to settle for just anyone.

And while this is true, I’m starting to think that our perception for ‘the one’ is wrong.

Yes, there is a beautiful premise behind the concept of staying single and waiting for your perfect someone to come along and show you what true love is. But, isn’t this idea also very limiting?

How the hell can one know who is the ‘right’ person for them unless they date different kinds of people and make mistakes in love. We cannot possibly know what our definition of ‘the one’ is before falling in love with imperfect people and wrong relationships.

Because love is not a straight path leading to everlasting happiness. There are many bumps on the road followed by many tears and broken hearts. There are times when you fall in love with the wrong person and get hurt, and there are also times when you hurt someone who loves you. That’s the circle of life.

Love is not perfect, nor we should expect it to be.

Mistakes are part of life. You cannot be guarded your entire life and keep yourself safe from getting hurt.

There is nothing wrong with making mistakes and dating people who are wrong for you. There is nothing wrong with being in a relationship that doesn’t make sense to anyone, but at that moment it does to you. And also, there is nothing wrong with falling in love with someone who you know you don’t have a future together, but you can’t help yourself but gift them your heart.

Because sometimes, it’s not about finding the ‘perfect’ person. It is about finding someone real who is willing to grow with you and fight for you and your relationship.

And finally, love is not about staying single and stopping yourself from going out and dating ‘imperfect’ people. Love is about getting to know each other, dating, falling in love, falling out of love, growing, learning, getting your heart broken, healing, evolving.

Don’t live your life by rules. Just love. And the right person will come when you are both ready.

Mary Wright