Yes, they may find you amazing and beautiful, they may desire you, they may need you, want you… but, do they accept, love, and value you for who you are? Do they treat you like you deserve?
Because there is a huge difference between wanting someone and loving and valuing someone. Therefore, please do yourself a favor and never confuse a fleeting attraction with a soul-deep connection.
There are many people who build their relationships and even marriages on weak foundations – not realizing that that’s not how love feels like. They don’t realize that they deserve so much more.
There will always be a person who will want you for your body, wealth, power… These people view you like a shiny trophy that fits well into their collection and it is a great stroke for their ego. They may desire you for your professional success. They may desire you for your compassion. They may want you for your funny side. Regardless of the reasons, it’s not real love.
When you find yourself in this kind of a relationship, you’ll start wondering why you are feeling so unfulfilled when there is nothing particularly wrong with your relationship. Or you think so.
However, the reality is different. You and your partner feel that way because you’ve fallen in love with the idea of them, not with the real person.
(Un)fortunately, these relationships eventually crumble down because physical beauty fades and since these relationships are only based on ego and superficiality – they don’t last long.
Because no sane person can accept and be happy being treated as an object of admiration and not a real person. And if they do, the thing with objects is that they can get replaced for newer and better ones.
Therefore, never allow someone to reduce you to ‘an object’. Never try to sell yourself and compete with others for someone’s attention and love. Never pretend to be someone you are not to get them to fall in love with you.
If the only thing you are looking for in a relationship is validation and admiration from your partner, it means that you are lacking self-love, confidence, and self-awareness.
You can’t fix yourself and heal on your own and that’s why you are always looking for someone to fill the void that is inside you. But this kind of love is not healthy because it is based on all the wrong reasons.
If you’ve ‘won’ your partner over other ‘competitors’ you will always feel scared and insecure whether someone better will come and will take away your partner from you.
On the other hand, if what you two have is a real love, based on trust, depth, support, and healthy boundaries – it means that you and your partner have a strong sense of self-awareness and self-worth and your relationship is a hard one to shake.
Relationships that are based on mutual, healthy and deep love are relationships that have passion, compassion, and brutal honesty at its base.
In a relationship like this, both partners can be who they truly are. Moreover, they will not only allow their partner to be their true selves, but they will also make them bigger and better people.
In a real and loving relationship – you will feel safe, supported, understood, trusted, loved, cared for. And if you want to discover if you are in a superficial relationship, you only need to ask yourself will you still be with them and love them if they lost their looks or financial status?
Do you love them for the picture they represent, or do you love them for the person they are underneath their skin?
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I am currently writing my first book titled “Inside The Narcissist’s Psyche: His Ability To Make Victims Stay With Him Even Though The Pain They’re Feeling Is Unbearable” If you are interested to take a glimpse at it, follow this link and tell us whether you like the subject so that we can send you a free chapter after we publish it.
