Many people fear that getting in a relationship means giving up on their identity.
I believe that this is the sole reason why most relationships today fall apart.
People, loving someone doesn’t mean giving up on your freedom.
Whoever asks you to give up on yourself in order to be with them doesn’t love you.
Get that through your head and stop sacrificing your soul for anybody.
Loving doesn’t mean forgetting who you are and what you live for. It doesn’t mean erasing your real identity. It doesn’t mean changing who you are as a person and becoming “the other half” in the relationship. Loving doesn’t mean loving only those parts of life that involve them.
Don’t be mistaken.
Yes, love is making a compromise. And it certainly is finding space in your heart in order for them to settle in. It is changing your priorities. It is rethinking your future. It is accepting the unacceptable.
But it is never abandoning every little thing that makes you YOU or forgetting what makes your heart smile.
A healthy relationship is supposed to be our support but also make us feel independent.
It should shelter us, heal us, nurture us but also give us our wings to fly.
It should free us.
Because without that, it simply cannot be called love.
So, please. Don’t sacrifice your entire life for one person and call that love. That could never be love. For love is not about changing, but about accepting one’s flaws, quirks, fears, insecurities, demons. It is about seeing someone for who they really are and falling in love with their real colors.
So, don’t let people fool you.
You shouldn’t give up on yourself in order to be loved.
If anything, you should first learn to love yourself if you want to be loved.
You should be free to do whatever your heart desires. You should be able to walk confidently in the direction of your dreams knowing that you have your partner’s support. You should have your own space, your separate life from them. You should have your social circles. Your passions. Your desires. Your dreams. Your hopes. Your plans. Your hobbies. Your opinions, no matter how different they are. Your OWN LIFE.
You should have all of this and more. Without feeling guilty for it.
You, my dear, are worthy of love. But you should not be defined by it.
Don’t give up on yourself for the sake of your relationship. There is plenty of room for everything inside that vulnerable heart of yours.
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