So, you don’t want kids. Okay then. You are not the first, nor the last one to feel that way. To choose a life without children. It’s pretty normal if you ask me. And it’s perfectly okay. Despite the fact that most individuals out there frown upon people like you. Despite the fact that society labels those who don’t want children as cold and miserable.
Let’s put all of that aside now, shall we? Back to the topic.
You are someone who doesn’t want kids but at the same time, you are afraid that you might regret your decision in the future. If this is the case, let me stop you right there.
You are not alone and you are not crazy for feeling that way. Every person that ever decided not to have kids has eventually wondered the same thing.
Here are 7 most important things that most people who don’t want to have kids get wrong about regret:
1. Fearing a future regret about something that feels right at this moment is a sign that you don’t trust yourself. It sounds silly, but when you think about it, it is more than true. Worrying about how you may feel in a few years from now means that you don’t believe in yourself. When you question whether your current decision about a future experience is right, you basically refuse to listen to your inner voice. And your inner voice is always right.
2. Your regret is most likely a result of society’s pressure. Regret is something that is very constant in our lives. It is a negative emotion that stops us from making a decision or in some cases appears out of nowhere and makes us change our mind at that very moment. It is a feeling that has always made us guilty about certain things. But what’s important to understand is the fact that this feeling doesn’t always come from us. In most cases, it is a feeling that is triggered by society’s expectations and pressures.
3. To be afraid of a future regret about choosing not to have children is to fail to understand happiness. Many women who have decided to not have children take these stories very seriously. Especially the one about how there is no other way to find happiness than to give birth to it. Well, news flash. Happiness doesn’t work that way. Happiness does exist, but only within ourselves. You can give birth to 10 children, but if you are not happy with yourself first and you are not okay with where you are in life, you still won’t understand happiness.
4. Letting your fear of a future regret keep you hostage is embracing a narrow point of view. It is failing to understand what it really means to be human. What your options in life are. It is really not fair to say that people who do not have children have a big void in their lives. That’s not true. You can have a lot of passions and a lot of intimate relationships with people without having children on your own. You have a million opportunities to find the right path for you that has nothing to do with parenting. Instead of worrying whether we made the right choice, we should focus on making the most of our choices.
5. Fearing the future regret of not having children is in other words, underestimating the experience and wisdom of your older self. As I previously said, it’s choosing not to trust yourself. It’s true, wisdom doesn’t always come with age, but in most cases, it does. Which only leads us to this conclusion… Fear of future regrets indicates that you doubt that you will be strong and wise enough to cope with life’s challenges.
In the end, regret is unavoidable, but it is a reminder that we are indeed very emotional human beings. Still, there is no point in worrying about always making the right choice. The best thing you can do is take responsibility for your actions and make the most of our choices.
