When we think about ghosting, we almost always think about ghosting from a romantic partner. We rarely think that there are cases when the ‘ghoster’ is our best friend, the one with whom we share everything and can’t live without each other.
I was ghosted by the people I dated. And it hurt, I admit. You spend months of your life going out with someone, getting to know them and suddenly they vanish without a trace. Without goodbye. Without an explanation. And the lack of closure is what makes us lose our mind and it breaks our hearts.
But, when my best friend of 20 years decided to ghost me, I was stunned. I was shocked. The pain was unbearable and so real that it physically hurt me. I couldn’t understand why she would do that to me Where I went wrong? Did I say or do something that hurt her?
She didn’t return my calls. Stopped responding to my text messages. She was just gone. And I was suffering. Trust me, being ghosted by your best friend is worse and more painful than being ghosted by some guy you dated a few months or a year.
I didn’t understand. I still don’t. I haven’t done anything wrong. There wasn’t a certain event that made her slowly change. No. It was an overnight thing. She simply cut me off from her life.
When after almost a year of no talking to each other, I saw her unexpectedly, I asked her why she did that to me. She said that we were too close, talking every day, knowing everything about each other, that she started thinking that it consumes all her energy. Moreover, she thought that the reason she is single was that when she was telling me all about the guy she was dating at the time, she would then obsess over it.
I didn’t say anything. I only said I respected her decision and I left.
I might never heal from this. I might never be able to accept the fact that she is gone and move on. But I still love her and I will stay gone if she wants me gone. I won’t beg anyone to be my friend.
She left a wound in my heart that won’t heal but I forgave her. I wish her all the best and I thank her for changing me and making me promise that I will never ghost another human being. Because now I know how it hurts.