There are all types of people around there. Some are good, some not so good, some even toxic. With this being said, it is important to be able to identify the manipulators from the start before they inflict any damage on you.
Here are 5 indicators that someone around you is toxic and is trying to manipulate you. If you notice that someone is using these toxic tactics on you – cut them off.
1. PROJECTION
Projection is a manipulative technique when the manipulator “projects” i.e. attributes their behaviors, thoughts, and feelings onto other people. For instance, a person who is highly jealous may accuse others of acting jealous.
Or, a cheating boyfriend or a girlfriend may be highly suspicious of their partner’s acts and blame them for cheating even though he or she doesn’t have any evidence. They are projecting their sexual indiscretions onto their partner to calm their guilty conscious and to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
2. SHAMING
This is a common manipulation technique, but it is also one of the most harmful. The victim is often unaware of the abuse because it usually comes from the person (probably a narcissist) whom they adore and trust to be more mature and better than them.
There are many ways that toxic people use to bring down their victims. Some may make fun of their speaking style, some will criticize their clothes and so on. This belittlement can go further as literally talking down to the other person and calling them immature. The implication here is that the narcissist is more mature and is beyond the other person.
3. TRIANGULATION
In order to make themselves more credible while ignoring the feelings of their partner – toxic people will often bring another person into the mix. They will say something along the lines of “Well Mary agrees with me. In fact, she thinks that you are the one who shouldn’t be trusted because…” and so on.
They may even take things further, mentioning a third person who could serve as a threat for you, possibly an ex-lover, to defeat you by forcing you to compete with that person thus becoming more and more submissive.
4. DIVERSION
This is an extremely frustrating tactic. The toxic person will often change the subject as a means to divert your attention from the conversation and avoid taking the blame for their actions.
Narcissists and toxic people in general use this technique to escape getting caught and being called out on their bullsh*t. They will neither admit their wrongdoings nor will you hear the words “I’m sorry” from them.
5. GASLIGHTING
Toxic people want to make you so unsure of yourself to the point of doubting your own perception and sanity. They want you to be so dependent on them because that is what makes them powerful.
They want you to be vulnerable and weak. That’s their ultimate win.
If any of these situations sound familiar to you, you may be dealing with a toxic individual, probably a narcissist. And if you want to maintain your health and sanity, you need to get rid of them as soon as possible.
Image: Kyle Evans
