You see him and the only thing that comes to mind is love.
Pure, all-consuming, true, everlasting love.
Because that’s how you feel when you’re around him. Free, vulnerable, like yourself.
But the reality is different. And you know that. Deep down you are aware of it. Deep down you know that you are the one who loves harder. You are the only one who’d do anything to make this relationship work. You are the only one who fights for it, anyway…
And it makes me think. It truly baffles me that you’d settle for something like this. A one-way love. You don’t strike me as someone who would accept less than you deserve.
But you do it anyway… Because you believe that he can change. You believe that deep down, he has feelings for you. And that in time, these feelings will develop and he’ll eventually give you back the love you so desperately desire. And so, you wait. You are patient because you believe that he has it in him. That he just needs time to get there. That he is not ready to open up yet. That he’s already probably doing his best to show you how he feels…
But have you ever thought of the possibility that he might not be the person you believe him to be? Have you ever thought, even for a second that he might never love you back?
We are truly the masters of idealization, aren’t we?
Just think about it. We meet someone, we see something in them, we fall in love and suddenly there is no out there more perfect for us than them. We are surrounded by rainbows, pink unicorns, flowers, and honeybees. Fireworks go off in the sky and we believe that if we love someone, they should love us back with the very same intensity…
Well, here’s the truth…
Not everyone you meet will be able to give you the love that you deserve. And as much as this sounds depressing, as much as it hurts your feelings, it’s the truth. But it is also a part of life. And the only thing you can do about it is to simply accept it.
You want to believe that this is not the case with you and him and you want to believe that he can give you exactly what you need, but the truth is more than obvious. He is not capable of loving you. And you cannot do anything to change that. You cannot force him to fall in love with you by loving him harder. You cannot make him see you differently by giving him your heart on a platter. I know it’s hard to accept this and I know it is easier to blame yourself instead. To convince yourself that you are not enough for him or that you cannot give him what he needs. But that’s nowhere near the truth and you know it.
You are more than enough, my love. He’s simply not the one for you.
So, let go.
Yes, just like that. Let go of the idea that your love can change this man and move on. It is not you. It’s never been you. It’s him. He cannot be what you need him to be, and it’s fine. He shouldn’t. You weren’t destined to be together. No matter how much you tried to make it work and go against fate, in the end, the truth always comes out.
So, let go…
Instead of trying to change him and make him love you, focus on your wellbeing and fall in love yourself instead. Take all the love that you were so selflessly giving to him and pour it into yourself. Feed your heart, feed your soul. Remind yourself what makes you feel alive.
What’s meant for you will find its way to your life…
