No, psychopaths are not necessarily serial killers. There can be psychopaths all around you. Maybe it is your scheming colleague that somehow gets away with everything, or perhaps it is your “enchanting” ex that left you for someone else and broke your heart. Or, maybe it is the sweet looking lady that just smiled at you on your way to work.
Yes, psychopaths look normal just like everyone else, except there is one huge difference between them and normal people – psychopaths don’t have a conscience. They are unable to feel shame or guilt, or any other deep emotions for that matter.
They go through life unnoticed because of their friendly and charming nature. If you are wondering whether your fairytale will turn into a catastrophe, look for these 8 warning signs to see if you are in a relationship with a psychopath.
1. THEY FLATTER YOU, IDEALIZE YOU, AND LOVE-BOMB YOU
This is an immediate sign that gives them away. Your relationship with them moves so fast that you can’t see clearly what’s happening. They will offer you so much attention and love that you immediately start feeling connected to them. They use flatter and idealization as manipulative techniques to lure you in their web of lies and manipulation.
2. THEY MESS WITH YOUR EMOTIONS BY PLAYING THE VICTIM TO GET SYMPATHY FROM YOU
They look innocent and cute at first to get faster into your heart. Don’t look for a psychopath in a flashy new car and arrogant looks. Instead, look for them in the person who tells you all about their crazy and abusive ex who has hurt them and how miserable their life is. Also, they say that they hate drama, but somehow there is drama all around you when you are with them.
3. THEY ACCUSE YOU OF FEELING EMOTIONS THAT THEY’VE PROVOKED ON PURPOSE
They call you clingy and desperate after they were ignoring you for a week. They call you jealous after carelessly flirting with someone else in front of you. Even the most easy-going person can be pushed off their limits and called hysterical when faced with a psychopath.
4. THEY ARE PATHOLOGICAL LIARS AND THEY ALWAYS MAKE EXCUSES
They can make up a lie for every question and excuse themselves even from things that they don’t need excusing. Nothing is ever their fault. They make excuses rather than focus on improving their behavior. Even if you do manage to catch them in a lie, they won’t feel ashamed. It is as if they wanted you to catch them.
5. THEY PROVOKE FEELINGS OF JEALOUSY AND RIVALRY IN YOU WHILE LOOKING COMPLETELY INNOCENT
At the beginning of your relationship, they showered you with attention which is confusing to you now that they are pulling away from you and began directing their attention to other people. This provokes feelings of doubt and jealousy in you as they leave you constantly wondering whether they still love you.
6. THEY WITHHOLD AFFECTION AND ATTENTION THUS UNDERMINING YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
After a massive amount of admiration and passion – they look like they are bored by you. They are annoyed when you ask them out as if your once passionate relationship has become one boring chore that they can’t stand doing.
7. THEY HAVE A CRIPPLING THIRST FOR ATTENTION BUT ARE SELFISH THEMSELVES
They drain your energy and make you feel powerless. They demand constant attention and admiration. You feel as nothing you do satisfies them. On the other hand, they never consider your feelings or appreciate you as they expect you to appreciate them.
8. YOU DON’T RECOGNIZE YOURSELF ANYMORE
It’s as if they turned you into a completely different person. You became a wreck of anxiety and panic. You find yourself crying more often than you smile. You have nightmares and you fear that they’ll leave you alone. You also feel exhausted and empty. There is a void inside you that hurts you.
If you find yourself in this situation – run! Run for your life. Don’t answer their calls. I know that you may find it hard at the beginning, but I promise you – you’ll feel better with time. Don’t let a psychopath ruin your life!
“The toxic behaviors were there before you decided to enter into relationships with them. The signs were there. You may have chosen to look the other way, but the signs were there.”