Relationships are not a smooth journey. They require commitment and hard work. For a relationship to be healthy, happy, and fulfilling, both partners need to treat each other with patience, compassion, respect, and dignity. They need to accept and cherish each other the way they are.
However, when you’re in a relationship with an overthinker, it can be difficult for you to understand why certain people tend to overanalyze every situation and every detail around them while others barely notice things at all.
The fact that overthinkers overanalyze everyone and everything around them, including their own feelings, thoughts, and actions, can easily throw you off the trail. So, yes, being by their side can sometimes be pretty hard, but loving them is not difficult at all.
In order for you to have a harmonious, loving, and long-lasting relationship with them, you need to try to understand their needs and desires as well as insecurities and fears. Try putting yourself in their shoes, and you’ll see how easy they are to love.
Here are 8 things you need to know about loving an overthinker:
1. It is not their fault.
An overthinker will analyze every word you say, every message you send them, and every action of yours just to make sure there’s nothing wrong with the relationship.
To overthinkers, nothing is simple. Everything has to have a deeper, or even hidden meaning. They overanalyze everything and everyone around them. Overthinking is simply in their nature and there’s nothing they can do about it. Therefore, if you’re in a relationship with an overthinker, you need to accept them the way they are and not try to change or “fix” them.
2. They need to know you’re confident in your relationship.
An overthinker might assume that your relationship is ending when the smallest problem comes your way. They can become convinced that you’re leaving them if you raise your voice at them or get upset about something they’ve done wrong.
Overthinkers need to know that there’s nothing wrong with the relationship and that you’re not planning to go anywhere. So, to save them from worrying about this, show them that you’re invested in your relationship as much as they are and that you truly love and care about them.
3. They’re genuine and they need you to be as well.
Overthinkers are truly honest and sincere people. They always tell it like it is. They don’t like playing mind games and they can’t stand people who are untrustworthy and manipulative.
Overthinkers want their partner to be genuine and truly good at heart since they value authenticity and honesty a lot. So, if you’re someone to whom honesty is just an abstract term and someone who is not ready to offer them true love and be by their side when they need you the most, then give up the idea of being with them because they’ll never let you into their heart.
4. They need your compassion.
Overthinkers spend a lot of time analyzing everything that’s going on around them and worrying about what might happen that they often forget to enjoy the present moment. Living this way often causes them to feel overwhelmed and frustrated.
Therefore, you need to be extremely patient and careful with them. You need to let them be themselves around you and you must never interfere with their decision-making. You need to show them compassion so that they know that you understand them and their complex mind.
5. They need you to communicate your feelings and thoughts clearly.
If you want to avoid conflicts in your relationship, you need to express your emotions and opinions in a clear and direct manner. You need to ensure that you never make them second guess your words, text messages, or actions.
Always be honest and communicate your emotions, ideas, and opinions as transparently as you can so that they don’t have to guess what’s going on in your mind.
6. Overthinking everything doesn’t mean they’re crazy.
Yes, they overanalyze their own feelings, thoughts, priorities, and decisions. They overanalyze their relationships, both romantic and otherwise. They constantly worry about whether they’ll manage to fulfill all their goals. They overanalyze the actions of those around them. They notice things and details that other people don’t. Yes, they do all this, but they’re not crazy or paranoid.
So, when they are feeling overwhelmed, upset, or anxious, don’t look at them and don’t make them feel like they’re crazy. The reason they’re overthinking most of the time is that they are trying to protect themselves and your relationship.
7. They need you to keep your promises.
If you want to enjoy a fulfilling, happy, and long-lasting relationship with an overthinker, then you need to always be true to your word. When you say that you’ll call them – call them. When you promise that you’ll take them out to dinner, do that.
In this way, you’ll gain their trust faster and show that you truly care about both them and the relationship.
8. They’re those rare souls that still believe in ‘The One.’
In spite of all the twisted values and superficial pleasures that characterize modern dating, overthinkers still believe that you’re their forever person who matches their soul. They still believe you’re their missing half, their soulmate, their partner in crime.
So, if you don’t feel about them the way they feel about you, then let them know it and save them from hours of creating all kinds of scenarios in their head. After all, no one deserves to be lied to and strung along.