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8 Things I Realized While Everyone Else Was Busy Having Kids And Getting Married

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Do you have the feeling that lately you’ve been surrounded by a lot of newlyweds and new-born parents?

Well, you are not alone. I feel like I am in that awkward stage in life where everyone I know is either married or carrying a second child. Oh, and did I mention? I am a 24-year-old woman.

Yup.

Over the past year and a half, I went to 10 weddings and 8 baby showers. You will probably say that I am judging, but that is not the point. In a way, this observation has helped me more than I know. It literally opened my eyes. Because after many wedding tables and parties, I started realizing something:

1. YOUR ‘TYPE’ CHANGES OVER THE YEARS

You start looking for someone more responsible and mature. A person who has his life figured out and searches for a deep and honest connection with someone who needs the same things. You begin to appreciate meaningful, adult conversations instead of silly, small talk. If you were once having fun, now you need a serious partner who will be ready to commit to you.

2. DON’T SETTLE FOR AVERAGE

Seeing people getting hitched as if it was some kind of a joke made me realize that not all of us do it out of love. I know a lot of people who got married to the first person that came along after their break-up, simply because they were too afraid that they’d miss ‘their train’.

Never settle for a mediocre life. It may take a long time for your soulmate to arrive, but they’ll eventually be here.

3. MODERN DATING MAY SUCK, BUT IT TEACHES US A LESSON

It is tiring and frustrating. But, with every pain, every struggle, every heartbreak, you learn a bit about yourself. You eventually understand what you need from life and what you look for in a person. You may be hurting, but you’ll ultimately become wiser.

4. YOU NEED TO FIND YOURSELF BEFORE GETTING MARRIED

If you don’t know who you are and what you want from life, getting married isn’t going to help you find the meaning of life. It is essential to first find yourself and discover your own source of happiness before making that important step. You cannot expect to find your happiness in your partner if you aren’t happy with yourself.

5. KIDS WILL NOT IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Having kids will not make your marriage calmer and lovelier. If you already have troubles meeting your partner halfway, a kid is not going to make it all go away. People who decide to have children when they aren’t certain about their marriage are risking their future and the future of their kids.

6. FINDING THE RIGHT CAREER PATH FOR YOU IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN GETTING MARRIED

Discovering your purpose in life is the most essential and rewarding thing you can do for yourself. Starting your journey will make you grow. Every obstacle along the way will make you stronger. Every failure will help you become bolder, wiser and braver. And finally finding your passion will make you the happiest person alive.

7. YOUR HAPPINESS SHOULDN’T DEPEND ON YOUR MARRIAGE

Marriage is not the answer to your problems. I said it before, and I’ll say it again. Getting married and having kids won’t solve your issues. Your happiness will always remain something you need to find on your own. Self-love is only possible if you focus on what’s inside of you, not around you. So, don’t make the mistake to involve an innocent child’s life in a mess you still haven’t figured out by yourself.

8. YOU CAN STILL DO ALL THE THINGS YOU WANT ON YOUR OWN

And probably the most important truth out there… You don’t need a person to make all the things happen. You can still live your life the way you intended to. You can still buy that dream house or achieve your goals. Being single, or simply not ready to get hitched is fine. You are still a person who has the world on its hands.

So, please. Whatever you do, don’t settle for mediocre. There is so much more to life than settling once and for all.

Get out there and explore for as much as you can.

Because we only get one chance.

Stephanie Reeds