Nice guys. We’ve all come across them and we’ve all had one in our lives, haven’t we?
Well, I don’t know about you, but I’ve been through all the drama. Just, don’t get me wrong. When I say a nice guy, I don’t actually mean a nice, kind, caring man who genuinely gives a damn about pursuing you by being who he genuinely is. When I say a “nice man” I am thinking about the “nice guys” behavior.
You know, the one that actually makes men feel entitled to women just because they think that pretending to be kind and respectful to a woman will make her fall head over heels in love with them. The pushy attitude that gives some of these men the freedom to subtly force women to be with them just because they are NICE.
Believe me, they aren’t. And here’s why.
These are 6 common lies “nice men” usually tell women:
1. YOU OWE NICE MEN A CHANCE
You don’t owe anything to anyone but yourself. We constantly hear about nice guys and how people, especially women are supposed to give them a chance at love just because they are NICE. Well, I am sick of this twisted society that promotes “nice guys” as this lucky opportunity that you shouldn’t miss.
You shouldn’t have to date a person you don’t like just because they are nice. You shouldn’t have to do it out of pity or out of fear that there aren’t a lot of nice guys out there. Being nice and respectful is not the golden ticket that gets you on a date with any woman. Remember that.
2. NICE MEN ARE ALWAYS STUCK IN THE FRIEND ZONE
Some men usually complain about getting friend zoned when they would be the best boyfriends you could ever imagine if you’d only let them show you. And as always, society is here to reinforce that belief and make everyone think that women are stupid for not realizing that the love that they are looking for is already in front of them.
You shouldn’t let this get to you and make you feel bad about being just a friend to someone who sees you as more than that. If a person starts revealing toxic behaviors because you only want to be friends, this person is probably not your friend.
3. NICE MEN ARE RARE GEMS YOU SHOULDN’T AVOID
I mean come on. I know that kind of “nice men”. They are always here to show you how much they actually care about women when in reality all they want to do is manipulate you into having sex with them. They would gladly climb every rooftop and shout how nice they are if that gives them what they want.
There are a lot of good men who actually respect the women they date and don’t feel the need to let the world know how nice they are for doing so. They are the only people who are worthy of being in your life.
4. HAVING BASIC HUMAN DECENCY MAKES ME A NICE PERSON
NO. It does not.
Our standards as a society are so low that we’ve forgotten about the actual values. We applaud fathers for doing their duty, we praise men for respecting a woman’s consent instead of sexually assaulting her as if that is a truly noble thing to do.
Wake up. Having basic human decency does not make you a nice person. it does not give you any privileges. It makes a normal human being.
If someone refrains from sexual assault and is called a nice guy for not forcing a woman to do something that she doesn’t want, then what do regular guys do?
5. NICE MEN ARE NICE BECAUSE THEY ARE PAYING ATTENTION TO YOU
It is truly sad how many women are raised with the belief that their appearance, race or different status in life will never make them the desirable candidate. And so, whenever a man pays attention to them (more often in a toxic or abusive way), they feel lucky to have earned his affection.
This is wrong on way too many levels. These so-called nice guys know that. And they exploit that fact to manipulate insecure women. They convince them that they are truly lucky and blessed to be with a person that nice.
6. NICE MEN ARE SIMPLY NICE
Having said all of the above, nice men are not nice. They don’t have a kind, caring heart. They are nice because it gets them what they want. In a nutshell, they are the worst kind of manipulators that you’ll ever face in your life.
I learned this the hard way. But you shouldn’t have to do that.
I did not have the strength and guts to stand up to them and kindly refuse their offer because I was too afraid that I will hurt another person’s feelings. But, after some time I realized that our guilt is exactly what gives them the power to behave that way.
There are a lot of genuinely nice people out there. And they don’t deserve a badge of honor for being who they are. Wait for those people.