Casual relationships… many of us willingly or unwillingly were into one and while some of us enjoy dating without committing to each other, others despise these ‘almost’ relationships and swear they will never get stuck into them again.
I was in a casual, “almost” relationship and I got my heart broken. I know the struggle and the pain of desperately trying to turn this kind of relationship into a healthy, loving, and committed one until finally realizing that you are not able to do so.
But why? Why casual “almost” relationships almost never turn into the relationships we always wanted?
1. THEY WEREN’T INTERESTED IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE
There is a great difference between liking and dating someone and loving someone and wanting to be in a relationship with them. You don’t have to like someone that much or to have serious plans with them in order to flirt and date. You also don’t have to have things in common or be compatible partners. However, when it comes to serious commitments, everything matters, and mere attraction is not sufficient to make a relationship long-lasting.
2. YOU BEHAVED TOO MUCH “CASUALLY”
The defense mechanism that has made you detached gave them the wrong impression that you were okay with things being casual. Your “going with the flow” and not wanting to appear “desperate” for a relationship have probably given your partner the wrong idea about what you want and need from a relationship.
3. YOU WAITED FOR THINGS TO CHANGE WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING
Perhaps you were taking way too many baby steps. Perhaps you waited too long for things between you to become committed and in the process of doing so, you and your partner grew apart from one another. Or maybe, you two were not putting enough effort to move your relationship to the next level.
4. THE TIMING WASN’T RIGHT
Maybe you two would have been together to this day if they haven’t just gotten out of a serious relationship and needed time for themselves. Maybe you didn’t want to get too attached to them because you feared missing out on your career opportunities. Maybe you lived too far from one another. Maybe you loved each other truly but the timing wasn’t on your side…
5. YOU DIDN’T COMMUNICATE OPENLY
Maybe you both felt strongly for each other but neither one of you admitted their feelings to the other person. You were hiding your feelings, thinking that ‘hints’ are enough to sustain the balance of the relationship. Your lack of honest and open communication with your partner has probably backfired on you without you realizing it.
6. YOU PSYCHED YOURSELF OUT
You probably started overthinking and assuming that the person you were dating was better than you and so you knowingly or unknowingly chased after them. That was probably the reason why they went cold towards you and never take your relationship seriously.
What is your experience? Do you have anything else to add?