What is the real definition of love?
Are we aware of what true love and commitment really mean or are we blindly following those shallow, obvious bits of advice that the magazines and the internet are giving us?
We are constantly surrounded by articles, quotes, books, songs that try to interpret the real meaning of it, but at the end of the day when you think about it, it’s all fake. They are just make-believe fairytales that always end up with “…and they lived happily ever after”.
What we sometimes forget is that these sugar-coated stories have nothing to do with the realities that we are experiencing on a daily basis.
Therefore, I am not here to convince you that life is rainbows and pink skies. I am here to confront you with the uncomfortable truths of life. Are you ready?
1. SOME CONFLICTS SHOULD NOT BE RESOLVED
No one wants to come back home to a pissed off partner who always wants to argue about a certain issue, but never chooses the way for expressing their emotions. No one wants a relationship based on disagreements and conflicts.
However, we are all going through the same, more or less. Conflicts and disagreements are inevitable in successful relationships because let’s face it, no matter how much we love each other, there are certain things that we will always hate about our partners.
The fact that we’ve accepted to be in a relationship regardless of their imperfections shows that we have agreed to embrace them and love them for who they are. In other words, that means that our love is much stronger than any disagreement that may eventually get in the way.
2. SOMETIMES IT’S INEVITABLE TO HURT EACH OTHER’S FEELINGS
Let me tell you something. I am someone who spends a lot of time wondering what I should wear. But I also have a boyfriend who is always, and I repeat always brutally honest about how I look. I know, weird right? These men are practically a myth.
Anyhow, I love it when I go out of the closet and he’s immediately taken with how good I look. I also hate it when he says something inconsiderable and ruins my whole idea of the outfit. And, I will admit it, I get really pissed off.
But deep down, I am the happiest woman on earth knowing that I have a man beside me who is always honest about everything with me. Because, at the end of the day, relationships are not supposed to make us feel good and comfortable all the time. They are supposed to teach us the real meaning of values, unconditional trust, and honesty.
3. ENDING A RELATIONSHIP IS BETTER THAN SUFFERING
Look, we all want a relationship with someone who will love us until death do us part, but sometimes life has other plans for us. And that is fine.
I know that having a loving and loyal partner is probably the biggest dream some of us have, but that is exactly that kind of idealization that leads people to hold onto toxic and abusive relationships.
We have to realize that our wellbeing and our happiness cannot depend on another human being. We have to understand that sometimes ending a relationship is the smartest thing to do. For there is nothing more important than self-care.
4. BEING ATTRACTED TO OTHER PEOPLE IS A NORMAL URGE
We are taught that any emotional or sexual thought of another person is just another form of unfaithfulness. It’s scary how narrow-minded some people are when it comes to love. Your eyes are for your partner only. Okay, I get it. I am all for monogamy.
But hey, aren’t we forgetting about the thoughts?
The truth is, no matter how much we try to suppress our emotions and feelings, the physical and emotional urges that we, as humans experience are inevitable. Looking at attractive, handsome men enjoyable. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t love my partner. If anything, those moments show just how much I love and cherish him.
5. MAKING SPACE FOR YOURSELF IS ESSENTIAL FOR SELF-GROWTH
Being in love does not mean being overly attached to your partner. It does not mean being jealous over the fact that your partner wants to spend their night with friends.
We simply cannot let our relationship consume our entire lives and change our identity. That is why making space for ourselves is crucial for self-growth.
6. TRUE LOVE MEANS ACCEPTING YOUR PARTNER’S FLAWS
Let’s get something straight. We all have flaws. It’s in our nature to be imperfect human beings. However, regardless of how bad and unacceptable some of our flaws are, there are people out there who still love us. Some of them have even fallen in love with our imperfections.
Do you know why? It’s simple. Because these people were willing to accept us for who we are just so they can be with us. If you ask me, that is the mark of true, everlasting love.