People would do whatever it takes to avoid even the slightest possibility of being judged by others. That is how much they are willing to sacrifice when it comes to making a strong impression.
If we could stop making mistakes, avoid being corrected or criticized and carry on with our lives as heartless machines, we would totally do that. But, considering that we are just a bunch of flawed, imperfect human beings, that is impossible.
The truth is, we hate being shamed. We don’t want to be disliked. What we want is to be accepted by everyone. And so, we don’t dare to speak up publicly. We avoid telling people what we really think. We keep our wildest and deepest secrets hidden from our lover. We don’t ask for that promotion. We remain our status quo and try to fulfill everybody’s desires. Because at the end of the day, being liked by all is what matters most to us.
Well, it seems to me that it is finally time to wake up and realize that this ongoing process is exhausting and harmful for us. Firstly because, we will never ever be able to satisfy everyone’s wishes and secondly because if we don’t embrace our true, flawed selves, we will never find the road to happiness.
Bellow are 5 truths we all need to accept if we want to stop fearing the judgment of others:
1. NOTHING LASTS FOREVER
The truth is, our brain has very limited storage. In other words, even though we make judgments, most of these thoughts are not important enough to be stored in our memory banks forever. So, when someone insults you, criticizes you or judges you in any way, know that in a few days that judgment is likely to fade away from their consciousness.
2. YOU CAN’T CONTROL THE JUDGMENT OF OTHERS
So, stop trying to do that. You can’t control how other people behave. The ongoing, psychological process in our brains is so complex that sometimes even we aren’t powerful enough change it. Let alone someone else.
Instead of worrying what goes on inside other people’s minds and bending over backward to make them like you, let them know how you feel so they can get to know you, understand you better and eventually sympathize with you. Always remember, compassion and solidarity are the antidotes to judgment.
3.SO, JUST LET THEM JUDGE
As I said, you cannot control how others respond to your actions. But that certainly doesn’t mean that you have to spend your life hiding in your shell. Instead of being afraid of revealing your vulnerable self or sharing some embarrassing facts about you, focus your energy on identifying that fear and let others judge.
Ask yourself, “Why do I feel terrified of showing people the fragile side of me?” and, “What judgment do I fear the most?”
Identifying the fear will help you manage it and find a way to resolve some issues that have been weighing you down for years.
4. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO SPEND IT WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK
It really is. So, it would be very sad to waste it worrying about whether other people like us or not. We shouldn’t let other people’s thoughts and opinions about us become our baggage. Because, after all, we all know how the saying goes. What we say about others says a lot about us.
5. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR OWN JUDGEMENTS
Let’s be honest. If others are judgmental, chances are you are also doing that. You might not express your opinions as freely as some people, but deep down you judge. Because judgment is simply inevitable. That is how our brain works.
So, instead of fearing other people’s judgments, try to change the focus of your own judgments and see what happens. Do you remember the golden rule? We attract exactly what we are. Apply it by becoming a more thoughtful person. Think twice before you speak. Always put yourself in other people’s shoes. Most importantly, never judge someone without knowing their whole story.