One of the most essential things when it comes to relationships is learning how to recognize when you are in a toxic one. Even if you think that it’s an easy thing to spot a toxic relationship, when you are involved with someone you love it can be quite difficult because your emotions will blur your perception of reality.
Therefore, here are 11 warning signs that indicate you and your partner are in a toxic relationship.
1. They dread when you ask them to meet your family.
It may come as a surprise, but one of the biggest signs that you’re in a toxic relationship is the way they act when you mention that you want them to meet your family. If they act cold, disinterested, or they start giving you excuses as to why they can’t meet them – it’s a red flag.
Someone who really loves you and wants to build a strong and solid foundation with you will want to meet the people that are important in your life. On the other hand, a toxic person will not care about that. They would rather choose to spend their time scrolling on Facebook than go to dinner with your family.
2. The communication between you is inconsistent and hurtful.
Hurtful text messages and inconsistent communication can also be signs of a toxic partnership. In a toxic relationship, your partner will text you randomly, when they feel like it, especially when they are bored. And when it comes to their replaying habits, they don’t feel a need to answer you right away and so they can leave you on ‘seen’ for hours or even days.
And because nowadays many relationships blossom during texting, pay close attention to how your partner’s texting habits make you feel. If you feel abandoned, unimportant, and anxiously waiting for their text to come – it’s not a good sign. A healthy relationship is based on mutual effort, you can’t be the only one reaching out to them and trying to save the relationship.
3. They don’t inspire you to grow.
The truth is, we all change. We learn new things, we grow constantly, and our goals and opinions of the world change. And this is a normal thing. It is important to have a partner who will inspire you to grow, with whom you’ll both grow together and become better people.
In a toxic relationship, on the other hand, your partner will do anything to hold you back and stop you from achieving your dreams. They will feel insecure and threatened every time you decide to do something for yourself that doesn’t include them, be it a new hobby or a new job.
4. They take their bad days out on you instead of opening to you regarding what’s bothering them.
Every person has good and bad days. And when people are faced with bumps in the road and are having a rough time at work, they react differently. However, the difference between a toxic partner and a ‘normal’ one is that a good partner, in a healthy relationship, won’t see you as their enemy. They won’t take their nervousness out on you, and instead, they will open up and talk with you about what’s bothering them.
5. They demand or withhold sex.
It is a normal thing to have a mismatched desire for sex with your partner. In a healthy and loving relationship, you both understand that your libido will not always be as high as your partner’s and vice versa. However, you are both willing to wait and work on your relationship.
In a toxic relationship, however, your partner either constantly demands sex or they are completely withholding it as a means of punishment.
6. They are acting distant after fights and arguments.
All couples fight. And sometimes fights are not a bad thing because they can help you improve your relationship and become even closer. When you are in a healthy relationship, you openly discuss everything with your partner and you both solve the problems with understanding, compassion, and compromise.
On the contrary, when you are in a toxic relationship with a toxic partner, everything will be hostile. They are conflict-oriented and they have outbursts of rage that they can’t control. Also, forget about compromises – they will deny anything they’ve wronged and blame you instead.
7. They keep score.
If your partner or both of you keep score of the positive and negative things that happen in your relationship – this is not a good sign.
If you or your partner know that this is the tenth time in three months that they have shown up late or that they forgot an important date – you are in a toxic relationship.
8. They threaten to break up with you.
When your partner is constantly threatening to leave you and break the relationship – it is a major red flag of toxicity. When you or your partner lies in the fear that the other one will abandon them over the smallest argument, that’s a relationship that no one deserves to be in.
9. They make you feel like an idiot.
They make you feel dumb and stupid. They tear you down and kill your confidence instead of building you up and making you feel great. When someone makes you feel bad about yourself, that’s a sign that they are toxic to you and you should stop any contact with them.
10. They call you names.
The only names you and your significant other should use are loving ones. If you are with someone that calls you hurtful names, then you are better off without them. Someone who loves you will never insult you.
11. They go MIA.
If your partner thinks that it is okay to ghost you and disappear after a fight without a word and then after many days of ignoring you to come back as if nothing has happened – ask yourself why do you need a person like that in your life. Every variation of ghosting is toxic to your wellbeing. You should feel secure in your relationship, not fear whether your partner will disappear.