Seeing young girls playing carelessly with their toys, got me thinking about myself and the time I was a careless little girl. That was indeed a wonderful time. I didn’t care about my ties or about boys or whether I did the right thing or not. All I cared was to have fun and play with my friends.
I wish I could now turn back the time and be that innocent pure little girl forever, but I can’t. All I can do is to teach my future daughter valuable life lessons to get her on the right path.
Here’s what I want her to know:
1. UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DESIRE AND VALUE
When someone desires you, it doesn’t mean that they value you. You may confuse these two things and perceive their high interest in you as a sign that they respect and value you as well. Trust me, if they value you – you’ll know it in your heart.
2. DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE SIZE OF YOUR THIGHS
Be physically active, eat healthily, and practice moderation. Eat food that makes you feel happy and alive but do it in moderation. And know that the size of your thighs doesn’t matter. What matters is how good you feel inside and how you make others feel.
3. IT’S PERFECTLY OKAY TO BE VULNERABLE
If someone breaks up with you and your heart aches, know that it is fine to feel pain. Scream, cry, tell your friends everything you are feeling. Don’t hold yourself back. And don’t call the person who broke you after too many drinks. Move on. Talk to me, talk to your girlfriends, but don’t make the mistake to go back to them. If it’s meant to be, they will find their way back to you.
4. BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN VALIDATION
You are strong. You are beautiful. You are smart. You are amazing. Yes, you are. And I don’t say it just because I am your mother. Of course, that I believe in you, but I also want you to believe in yourself as well. Don’t wait for the confirmation of others. Believe in your own awesomeness always.
5. ALWAYS BE GENTLE (TO YOURSELF AND TO OTHERS)
It can be easier to believe when someone says something bad about you than when someone gives you a compliment. Please, always be gentle with yourself. Focus on your strengths, not on your weaknesses. Learn from your mistakes and turn them into positive experiences.
6. SAY ‘F*CK OFF’ WHEN IT NEEDS TO BE SAID
Say it out loud, say it with your actions, with your eyes, or say it by walking away. Say f*ck off whenever it needs to be said. Say it when someone disrespects you. Say it when someone judges you. Say it when you are not being treated the way you deserve. Just say it.
7. PAMPER YOURSELF
Eat the chocolate, buy the shoes, drink the wine, light candles, get the massage. There is no point to save the good things for the right time. The right time is now. Treat your self with the best things and make sure you enjoy it.
8. DON’T FORCE IT
If that tight dress is uncomfortable, let it go. If your friend betrays your trust and makes you feel miserable, let her go too. You shouldn’t force anything ever – not a dress, not a job, not a relationship. And don’t you ever try to convince someone of your worth. If they are not convinced on their own, read No.6 again.
9. DON’T DO ANYTHING WITH HALF YOUR HEART
Sometimes you need to do things that you don’t like doing – like folding laundry, vacuum cleaning, or ironing. No, I don’t mean those small things. I am talking about the big things – your friends, your style, the man you’ll marry, your living place, your career. When you do these things make sure you do them with your whole heart.
10. DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS
This is very important because when you compare yourself to others you are oftentimes comparing your weaknesses and your worst moments to their strengths. Just because your life is different than theirs it doesn’t mean that it is less worthy than theirs.
11. FOLLOW YOUR PASSIONS
Find the things that you want to do and that you love doing and do them often. Follow your passions no matter what they are. Whatever warms your heart is worthy of doing.
Image: Elizabeth Sallee Bauer