Have you felt like you somehow always end up with someone who is wrong for you?
Okay, we’ve all had a toxic partner in our lives, but when this becomes a routine, rather than an unfortunate experience, one starts to wonder. “Why do I keep attracting people who are wrong for me?”
“Why can’t I find a normal person?”
The vicious cycle of WHYs and wasted years will go on forever until one feels brave enough to dig deep under their own surface and understand the real meaning of their experiences.
If this is you, below is a list of reasons why YOU may be falling for all the wrong people in your life. The sooner you realize the truth, the better.
So, here we go!
1. YOU SECRETLY ENJOY DRAMA
You don’t want to admit, but you secretly want your life to be dramatic. You live for the drama. Or, shall we say, ‘the excitement’ in the relationship. That’s why, you’re drawn to dramatic people who let’s be honest, bring more stress, than real adventure to the relationship.
2. YOU ARE AFRAID TO BE SINGLE
One of the most common reasons why people tend to pick toxic partners is the foolish fear of ending up alone. As a result, they tend to accept anything that comes along and end up settling for someone they genuinely hate.
Now, please tell me, how being single is more tragic than being stuck in a relationship with an overly-attached control freak?
3. YOU HAVE A WEIRD NEED TO FIX PEOPLE
If you think you can fix something you don’t like in a person, let me stop you right there. You cannot change a person who doesn’t want to be changed. You can try to help them, but never force them to become something you want.
If this is you, it is no wonder that you’re constantly falling for wrong people. Leave others be. Focus on yourself and what you need.
4. YOU WANT A CHALLENGING AND DIFFICULT PARTNER
I never understood this, but there are people who actually can’t enjoy a peaceful and loving relationship. There are people out there who like to have something to fight about, otherwise, their relationship it’s just boring.
Your partner should challenge you and motivate you to be the best version of yourself, not the worst.
5. YOU HAVE A DESPERATE NEED TO FEEL WANTED, LOVED AND DESIRED
If you need to feel loved by someone in order to be happy, you need to stop for a second and address yourself. You will never be happy enough if you think that your happiness depends on another human being.
Self-love is the only way to find true happiness. It all starts with yourself.
6. SADLY, YOUR STANDARDS ARE LOWER THAN YOU THINK
Sorry not sorry, but when it comes to dating, your standards and your self-respect should be high enough in order for you to find a decent person who will appreciate you for who you are.
Don’t be afraid to ask for the things you deserve. Settling down is for cowards.
7. YOU DON’T RESPECT YOURSELF
You can’t possibly expect for people to respect yourself if you have zero self-respect for yourself. What you truly are will reflect on people.
Be true to yourself and don’t let others take advantage of you!
8. YOU ARE CONVINCED THAT YOUR LOVE CAN CHANGE A PERSON
Thinking and expecting that a person will change because you love them more than words can explain is selfish. A person will change if they want to change.
If a person is not for you, accept it and move on.
9. YOU DENY YOUR FEELINGS
If you invalidate your own feelings, others will do it too. It shows a great deal of disrespect towards yourself. So, how can you expect to find a decent, respectful and honorable human being when you don’t respect yourself enough to embrace your own emotions?
10. YOU HAVE LOOSE BOUNDARIES
One of the reasons people often end with wrong and toxic partners is the fact that they haven’t done much to set solid and stable boundaries around them.
They simply forget to set the ground rules.
So, when it comes to relationships, deal-breakers are essential. Your potential partner has to know what’s okay and what’s a definite NO-NO to you. Without clear and stable boundaries, you’re bound to end up with people who are wrong for you.
11. YOU HAVE SERIOUS COMMITMENT ISSUES
This is usually something that goes way deeper. Most people are not even aware that they have commitment issues until they face the ugly truth.
If this is you, the reason why you keep falling for all the wrong people might be because you’re too afraid to commit.
Either way, if you feel that you’re a magnet for wrong people, you need to take some time and focus on yourself. You’ll be amazed at how being single can help you work on yourself and eventually find someone who is worth your time.
Stop settling down for things you resent. Get to know yourself, set those boundaries and enjoy life.
Image: Lucía Alonso