Home Stories 10 Things I Learned While Everyone Around Me Was Getting Married And...

10 Things I Learned While Everyone Around Me Was Getting Married And Having Kids


1. Building your dream career is far more important to you than getting married. Finding the right career path for you is essential for your happiness. It is a present that you gift to yourself. It is something that keeps you going and motivates you to learn new things and grow as a person. Your dream job will make you so happy and this is the kind of happiness that doesn’t depend on having love in your life.

2. You learn a lot of lessons for modern dating even though you hate it. You know that modern dating sucks. You’ve felt its cruel consequences on your skin many times. However, with every dating disaster, you come out stronger and you learn valuable lessons every time. You become aware of the kind of partner you are looking for and you are not going to settle for anything less than that.

3. Your ‘type’ of partner changes over time. You no longer fall head over heels with immature individuals. You don’t get involved in shallow connections. You know what makes your heart beat faster and you are now only looking for deep connections that will nourish your soul and inspire you to grow. Qualities like integrity, honesty, and responsibility are very important for you and you want to find all of them in one person.

4. You don’t settle anymore. You don’t start dating someone just because you’ve been single for so long and you fear to get lonely. You have learned to be your greatest companion and so you don’t stay in bad and toxic relationships just because you are afraid that you’ll never get married. You know how to love truly and you want that love to be reciprocated.

5. You have built a very good relationship with yourself. You know that before you get married you must first feel comfortable and happy with your life as it is. If you are in an unsteady place and you see marriage as the only ticket to your happiness, then you are very likely to end up in a toxic and codependent marriage where you follow your partner’s every step.

6. You have a few good and loyal friends. And you invest in your friendship all the time. Your friends are always there to support you just like you are there for them. Your friends have the ability to make your life better or worse, therefore choose them wisely.

7. You can make whatever the hell you want alone. You don’t need a partner to achieve anything you want. You can do it on your own. You can get your master’s degree, the job you want, travel anywhere you want, buy your dream house. Anything. The world is your oyster. And when you are single, there is a better chance to build yourself into the person you’ve always wanted to become.

8. Children aren’t the answer to marriage problems. If you have kids it doesn’t mean that you can relax and that every problem in your marriage will be magically solved. No. if anything, children are the ultimate test on your marriage and how strong it actually is. If you have kids and you are not ready for marriage, then that marriage is doomed to fail apart.

9. Getting married is not the answer as well. If you can’t find happiness on your own, then you can never find it in a marriage. If you didn’t know how to love yourself first, you can never love another human being.

10. You won’t lose (all) your married friends. Marriage doesn’t need to change anything. You can still be connected to your friends and talk with them. It just depends on whether you are willing to work on your friendship and keep your connection alive.

Mary Wright