I didn’t want this to happen. I never thought we would lose the wonderful connection we had. I thought what we had was strong enough to survive every storm. I wanted to think that nothing and no one would tear us apart.
Because it was you. I wanted you to be my happily ever after.
We were talking for hours about our hopes and dreams. We planned our future together. We were telling each other everything. You were my best friend and I was yours. You were the person I went through whenever something good or bad happened. I never doubted us and our potential. Most importantly, I never doubted the strength of our love.
But, the unimaginable happened. We drifted apart. We stopped communicating. You began to shut me off, you didn’t let me be there for you. I knew you were stressed out but you should have allowed me to help you. Instead, you became defensive and closed off. You kept on rejecting me and I kept on forgiving you and making excuses for you. I waited for you to come to your senses and be the loving person you were.
There were many lonely nights when I cried my heart out, waiting for you. There were many times when you broke my heart. You were hard to love but I loved you anyway.
I didn’t deserve that. I didn’t deserve to be treated that as I am disposable.
Now I know. I know it is finally a time to leave you alone and stop holding onto you. I know I must stop this agony and stop waiting for you to come back to me. It’s time for me to find someone who will love me as much as I love them. Someone who won’t make me feel like I don’t matter.
I also know what was keeping me stuck to you. It was the mere thought of a life without you. Because I was scared. I was terrified of not being able to find someone better than you. I was afraid that I will be alone forever because you have managed to convince me I was unlovable.
And now after I made a decision to walk away from you, please know this. I loved you and I will always love you in some way. I cared about you more than anything and there wasn’t a thing that I wouldn’t have done for you. But you pushed me away. You broke my heart. Don’t do this to someone else again. I want your happiness more than anything. You should also go on and find what you are looking for. Be happy. Find someone new who will love you truly. Because everyone deserves love.
A life without love is a life not worth living. But first, fall in love with yourself. Because if you don’t, you’ll always hurt people that care for you.
