I am not always a good and caring person I want to be. Sometimes my demons take over and I lose myself. Sometimes I show the ugly parts me. I don’t like that side of me, but it’s there, it’s mine, and it’s a part of who I am.
Sometimes I get angry. Sometimes I overreact. Sometimes I cry for no reason. Sometimes I radiate bad energy and I can be an awful company. Sometimes I get depressed and you won’t see me for a month.
I am sorry about that, but I can’t help it. And half of the time I am not aware that I am doing it.
And I want my future lover to be aware of these things and accept them as a part of me. Because those reactions are there because I have become so used to living alone. I am used to never depend on anyone. So, when someone enters my life, my defense mechanisms are on and sometimes I can’t control them.
I know that I can be a handful, but please be patient with me.
I realize that my silent treatments drive you crazy, that’s why I use them. When we argue, I know exactly which words to use to hurt you. Sometimes, my mouth is faster than my mind and it gets the best of me. Then, I regret the things I’ve done, but there is no going back.
I am someone who will provoke you whenever I feel dissatisfied with myself because, in those angry moments, I tend to take it out on the closest person to me.
I need you to understand all this and love me regardless.
Because no matter how hard I try to become a better person, sometimes I forget that the world doesn’t revolve around me and that everyone has problems. Sometimes I forget that my words and action can be selfish and hurt other people.
I know that I have no right to say this and justify my actions. I know that I am wrong, but I am just being honest.
No one is perfect, and I want someone who can understand that. Someone who can understand that we are all flawed, and we all make mistakes, but those mistakes don’t make us bad people. They only make us people. Ordinary people.
And we all deserve love and someone who will be there for us despite everything. Someone who will love our good side and our bad side.
