“You could have grown cold, but you grew courageous instead. You could have given up, but you kept on going. You could have seen obstacles, but you called them adventures. You could have called them weeds, but instead you called them wildflower.
You could have died a caterpillar, but you fought on to be a butterfly. You could have denied yourself goodness, but instead you chose to show yourself some self-love. You could have defined yourself by the dark days, but instead through them you realized your light.” ~S.C. Lourie
Yesterday, I read a quote by Kirk Franklin, saying, “Two twin boys were raised by an alcoholic father. One grew up to be an alcoholic and when asked what happened, he said, ‘I watched my father.’ The other grew up and never drank in his life. When he was asked what happened, he said, ‘I watched my father.’ Two boys, same dad, two different perspectives. Your perspective in life will determine your destiny.”
This is a great quote that reminds you that you have the power to change your destiny. The toxicity and addictions in your family doesn’t need to be yours as well. You have a power to choose what kind of life you want for yourself. And even if you are stuck on the wrong path with toxic people around you, you and only you have the power to break the vicious cycle and create a new life for yourself and your family. Here are 4 ways that can help you do just that.
SHIFT YOUR FOCUS ON THE THINGS THAT YOU CAN CONTROL
Every day you have a choice. You can either focus on the past and things you can’t change, or you can shift your focus towards the future and on the things that are within your control. Of course, you don’t have control over all the things that happen, but you do have control over how you react to them.
You will not always be able to control your parent, your partner, or anyone close to you who has an addiction, but you can control yourself and your emotions.The truth is, you cannot change the people around you no matter how much you try. You can only change your actions and reactions regarding them. You can either choose to continue the toxic and addictive cycle or you can put an end to it and live your life free.
LET OTHER PEOPLE IN
Seeing your loved ones struggle with addictions can be devastating and it can change your life in many ways. And in order for you to erase the hurtful memories you may choose to bottle up your feelings and don’t talk about it to anyone.
However, instead of trying to forget the things that have caused you pain, you should seek professional help from a therapist or a group that shares your struggles and knows what you are going through. Knowing that you are not alone and that you have support from others is essential when it comes to your wellbeing.
TURN YOUR PAIN INTO POWER
When you have a history of addiction in your family, it is normal that you will feel pain, confusion, and embarrassment. When you look at someone you love fall into the trap of substance abuse you can feel everything – from anger and sadness to disbelief and utter disappointment.
But, when you find yourself in a (hopeless) situation like that, it is important to not let pain overwhelm you but instead, you should do everything you can to turn your pain into power and deeper purpose. Share your story with others and inspire them. Let them know that they are not alone.
SET YOURSELF FREE BY LETTING GO
One of the greatest virtues of every human being is their ability to forgive others as well as themselves. Sadly, there are lot of people carrying baggage for years. Many people who are stuck in toxic cycles and addictions say that they do that to numb the pain they are feeling.
That’s why we must learn how to set ourselves free from any kind of pain and resentment by letting go.
We must forgive in order to heal and move on.
Sharing is caring! Share this article with all your friends and family to help them remove the shackles that keep them bound to the toxicity and the addictions and inspire them to start a new life.
