Getting ghosted is one of the most painful experiences in life. The problem with it is that you can never tell whether or not it actually happened to you until it is already too late and you are left all alone…
The thing is, when you have a relationship with a person with whom you share a strong connection, it is pretty hard to assume that they could ever leave you without a pretty good reason.
So, when you spend weeks getting close to them, building something together and then all of a sudden, they disappear in thin air, the first thing that pops to your mind is… “Are they ok?”
You worry, but you assume that they must have a pretty good reason for that. And so you give them the benefit of doubt. You wait. You remain calm and you convince yourself that everything will be fine. You desperately want to know what’s the problem, but you do your best to be patient.
After all, everything is possible, you say to yourself. Maybe their phone died for a few hours, so they never got your calls and your messages. Maybe they had a very busy day at work and they’ll call you when they get home. Or maybe they just forgot to call you back.
But as days pass and silence grows louder, you realize that there might be a bigger reason for all of this. As your 5 unanswered calls turn to 10, your patience comes to an end, you realize that they are not coming back. That you’ve been ghosted…
After that devastating realization, it is easy to think that you were the problem. It is the first thing that comes to mind. You start to question your worth. You blame yourself for not being there for them. You beat yourself up for not being fun, loving, caring, rich, honest, good enough for them.
The only thing that you have to remember in those moments is that…
It’s not your fault. No matter how much you convince yourself it is, it is never your fault. Ghosting says more about them than about you. Maybe they were seeing someone else. Or they were too much of a coward to face you and be honest about how they feel. Maybe they were unable to love you the way you love them. Or maybe they were not ready for a future with you.
Whatever it is, it is not something that you should blame yourself for.
In the end, when you think about it…It doesn’t even matter why they left…
What matters the most is that you accept the fact that they are no longer there.
And move on with your life. Yes, just like that.
Without trying to get them back. Without expecting a closure. Without wasting too much time wondering where things went wrong. Without putting effort into changing their mind. Without sacrificing your happiness to win them back. Without forcing something that is not meant to be.
When someone ghosts you, let them go…
Because if they wanted to stay by your side, they would have done everything to make things right, no matter how much time and work they needed… Believe me. When there is a will, there’s always a way.
Don’t chase after the person who walked away without a goodbye. Chances are, there is someone out there who desperately wants to be your first hello.
