From the moment that you first hold your child in your arms, to the moment that they move out and start their own life, there’s a lot for you to deal with. One of the worst of these things is just how sleep deprived you are. Every mother out there can relate to that struggle, and surprisingly, even celebrities can too.
Amy Poehler has always been hilarious, but when she had her first child, her comedy reached the next level. Now her jokes are not only witty, but they’re also completely relatable for mothers everywhere too. Here are 30 thoughts every exhausted mom can understand, as told by Amy Poehler.
1. “I swear if one more person asks me why I look so tired…”
2. “If I just slowly put him in the crib and tiptoe out, he’ll never know!”
3. “Is my face numb?”
4. “Is my child broken? Did I break her?”
5. “Why aren’t other moms struggling as much as I am?”
6. “Am I the worst mom ever for wanting a night to myself?”
7. “When was the last time I showered? Or put on a bra…?”
8. “If anyone has a suggestion on how to get him to fall asleep, I’ll take it.”
9. “Is this what the rest of my life is going to be?”
10. “Does it make me a bad mom for wanting to drop them off and then go right back to bed?”
11. “I’m so tired, I almost feel drunk — is that even possible?”
12. “That’s it. Anyone who asks to see the baby when they know she’s sleeping has officially lost their mind.”
13. “Do baby whisperers exist and where can I hire one?”
14. “This is definitely the strongest form of birth control I’ve ever had.”
15. “Do baby whisperers exist and where can I hire one?”
16. “Now I understand that whole bourbon-in-the-baby-bottle thing.”
17. “If I could sleep through the tears, my life would be so much better right now.”
18. “Thank god for Instagram at 2 a.m.”
19. “How did I pull those all-nighters in college?”
20. “Why is nobody understanding me right now? Am I speaking a different language?”
21. “I’m starting to visualize my life one nap at a time.”
22. “Would it be inappropriate to put my husband in timeout?”
23. “This baby has been up as long as I have, so why isn’t he just as tired?”
24. “How many more cups of coffee can I have before my blood becomes purely cold brew?”
25. “I think she’s laughing at me now.”
26. “I just need to eat my feelings in order to feel better.”
27 .“And to think, there was a time I thought that cry was cute.”
28. “Why did I just think that? I’m actually the world’s worst mom!”
29.“Did I really just put breast milk in my coffee?!”
30. “Is my baby just a cruel and unusual torture device?”
Motherhood may be difficult, tiring, and often extremely confusing, but it’s also the most fulfilling experience that women many women will ever have. Although you may be exhausted, you know for a fact that you wouldn’t give it up for the world.
To all the amazing mothers out there, you’re doing a great job. Even when you feel completely overwhelmed, you’re still doing everything that you possibly could for your child. Just remember, it doesn’t make you a bad mom to try to take a nap every once in a while.
