I know how it is. I grew up without a father as well. Growing up without the most important male figure in the life of a child is immensely hard and it can leave drastic consequences on their psyche and their perception of men in general.
However, it’s not all black. Because you were strong enough to endure all the pain that came with his absence and that’s what made you the person you are today – resilient and brave. Able to conquer the world. You know you can survive anything and come out as a winner at the end.
I know it’s painful. I know it’s awful. But please, don’t let it get to you and affect your beautiful and kind soul.
Don’t think you’re guilty. Don’t think you could have done something to change it. Regardless of his reasons, there is nothing you could’ve done to stop him from leaving. His choice has nothing to do with you. You are an amazing person inside and out. And everyone in your life knows it.
Don’t let your father’s absence turn you into a bitter person. Yes, growing up without a father will undoubtedly affect you in many ways, but you need to understand that you are someone who is worthy of love. You are worth fighting for. You didn’t deserve to be left by a man who should have been your role model, your savior, your protector.
Therefore, don’t pretend like you are not hurting. Don’t run away from the pain and the resentment that is in your heart. An open heart is a wonderful thing. Cry, scream, grieve as much as you want – but let it go. Don’t numb yourself and pretend like the wounds aren’t there.
Forgive your father for hurting you. Don’t expect an apology that might never come. Find the strength in your heart to truly forgive him, not because it’s okay what he has done to you, but because you are a bigger person than him to not let the anger bottle up inside you. Let all the pain transform into a driving force that will inspire you to follow your dreams and never give up. Because you are a strong and powerful woman.
Stop comparing yourself with your friends who grew up with their loving fathers who were always there for them. Stop asking yourself is there anything wrong with you for not having your father next to you or think that you don’t deserve a loving father. You are an exceptional woman. Don’t diminish your spark by having these kinds of thoughts.
No person should be able to determine your worth. Only you.
And finally, don’t be scared to fall in love. I know that you will be guarded, as I am, but please let your guard down and open your heart for love. Because there is someone out there who will love you for who you are.
And don’t ever doubt yourself and abilities because:
You are strong.
You are powerful.
You are wonderful.
You are a survivor.
And you are not alone. You are loved.